WEARING FOR SPRING

A girlfriend said I needed to hurry up and post what I was planning on wearing for spring

 so she could start shopping!

I've figured out my purchases for my Spring Wardrobe.

And have fallen in love with Madewell!

These linen miracle tees are perfect. Just a little bit of sleeve for modesty and on SALE!

I bought 4 of them! These three colors…navy, black, striped and heather grey!

They fit great. Boxy and loose. I ordered a size Large because they run a bit short.

Vigoss Jeans from Nordstrom are always a favorite.

And priced right!

They run big though so remember to size down one size!

A distressed pair. 

Vigoss New York Flap Pocket

And a nicer pair! I ordered a size 28 but usually wear a size 29.

And these D'orsay Flats from Madewell are pricey but comfy right out of the box!

The last time I paid good money for a pair of ballet flats from J. Crew it about 

gave me a heart attack at first, but that was 6 years ago and I'm just now getting rid of them.

They were brown leopard print and stayed a classic.

The better made shoe…the longer they last!

These are replacing them and hoping to be my go-to dressier flat for spring and summer.

I also ordered one more TOTAL SPLURGE item the I will share when it comes.

They are backordered but I'm thinking they will become my everyday shoe!

WEARING…..

|| Currently wearing and loving right now ||

these gray skinny jeans from Anthro

this Aisla Pullover sweater with the prettiest back detail from Anthro.

On sale now! 

I have it in grey, ivory and black and wear the Ivory

with the gray skinnies above and the black booties below for a cute casual outfit!

and these booties in black suede from Nordstrom.

They are favorites and between the black ones and putty suede ones

Kaia and I wear them almost every single day!

This is a little pricey when you add them all up but I'm telling you,

I would rather invest a little more for quality and great fit 

than spend same money on multiple items trying to find those great pieces!

Obsessed with each piece this season.

BACHELOR RE-CAP SO FAR

To all my Bachelor loving peeps who have said they missed my re-caps. Here you go. (disclaimer…I talk about butt hair)!

Right off the bat I loved Britt, Becca (her sequined dress and booties out of the limo was to die for…loved she went short for her dress instead of long) Kaitlyn and Tracy. You might ask who Tracy was…she was eliminated last week and we didn't see or hear much from her, but I think she is one of the prettiest brunettes I have ever seen.

Ashley S. was a train wreck and the weirdest person I have ever seen on Bachelor and am convinced producers made Chris keep her on for her antics. And Kaitlyn getting on camera to certify that she was certifiably crazy was hilarious. Ellen DeGeneres, please bring Ashley S. on your show for an interview. I want to see that. Pretty Please!

Who has grown on me….Carly! Love her sense of humor and honesty. And speaking of honesty…let's talk about Jordan who was drunk from sunrise to sunset. Which also reminds me of Tara who had a rough start but I was really sad to see her go. Loved her green dress on the night she was sent home. But back to Jordan. I can't even believe that the producers put on live television her explaining Jillian's butt hair. It was like a train wreck. I didn't want to look but couldn't turn it off as I laughed so hard and felt so uncomfortable at the same time. The description of length had me gagging and I couldn't ever look at Jillian the same again and for a minute I think that wasn't fair to do to Jillian especially since they are always blacking out her butt when she wears a swimsuit. I have to wonder why. And when she walked to get a rose when really Chris called out Juelia not Jillian I died and then died a little more when she slipped and almost fell on the floor and I'll admit, I wondered….hmmm…wonder if maybe she slipped on her own butt hair hanging on the floor. OK…that was bad but honestly it is all I can think about when I see her now and I wonder how they will handle it on the Women Tell All….because I just can't see it being done tastefully for Jillian. The poor girl is already having to see in on tv without defending herself. Ok…moving on.

Who I can't stand….Jillian actually. She is abrasive and rude and arrogant and I'm glad she is gone (as of last night). Who else would I love to see gone….Ashley I. Get that virgin (with the mouth that isn't a virgin) who is the biggest tease ever off the show. The fact that she is more obsessed with fairytales and princesses than she is with Chris ohh…I just can't handle listening to her talk and her kardashian ways. So not farm girl material. I can't handle her makeup or eyelashes. With that said…I really don't like that Britt is always made up too. I'd like to see her more natural. Becca has got my votes on best natural looking makeup each week. Love her style, love her not kissing right away and love her humble approach to being a virgin also! Didn't like that Kaitlyn took her panties off last night in the muddy water. Yuck. Keep it classy kaitlyn. I'm rooting for you. Back to who I can't stand though….Whitney's voice drives me batty. Like nails on a chalkboard batty. Especially when she puckers her lips all pointy and then whines. Shoot me now! Mackenzie needs to leave also. She is so so immature. All the talking about Aliens and virgin talk and she just fails to impress me every time she opens her mouth. Kind of like Ashley I. And oh….they seem to be besties which doesn't surprise me.

Best question during one on one time goes to Kaitlyn trying to ask what Love Language Chris was. That was such a perfect question while dating and in the big picture of marriage. She deserved that rose that night. Britt broke rule number one at the rose ceremony….you don't ever spend your alone time talking about another girl. You sounded jealous and insecure and neither are winners on the Bachelor.

Loved Jimmy Kimmel on the show. Hilarious!! Also loved the sisters last night. I would have loved to see who they would have picked if they got to interview all the girls. But happy they picked Jade. I was rooting for Jade or Carly and could see both of them perfectly content on the farm in Iowa. It is going to take someone special who won't go crazy leaving a big town for small town farm life.

I have to say I was disappointed at the kisses Chris was giving out so freely the first two weeks of the show. I didn't expect him to be such a player. I get that he is looking for all levels of physical, emotional and mental connection, but he kissed every girl he could. Not impressed. And I'm pretty sure producers are keeping something from us…because in the previews it showed the camping trip going horribly wrong that night in the tent and girls crying and Kelsey disgusted by what she was hearing, yet when Ashley I. crawled into the tent…nothing really happened and everyone was asleep. Wondering when that poop is going to hit the fan. And speaking of Kelsey….I'm not sure how I feel about her. I was really rooting for her when they introduced her as a widow and I get that she thought the camping date was juvenile but I really do see a fakeness when she is with Chris versus around the girls and it rubs everyone the wrong way…always on Bachelor. You would think these girls would take note.

At this point….Becca, Carly, and Kaitlyn are my front runners for Chris. Jade is up there too, but I honestly think she is just a little too quiet for him although their date was amazing and I loved how Chris said he wasn't going to look past her anymore. That's right Chris…the ones you haven't kissed yet just might be 'wife material'….just saying!

So here's to this season and an amazing journey. Cheers!

AMERICAN SNIPER REMINDED ME OF….

I went to see American Sniper with Dave.

It was amazing at portraying our American Heroes.

It also portrayed the return of our soldiers after deployment so well.

Dave had read the book and was waiting very impatiently to see the movie.

Dave loves his country. He is passionate about it.

He served his country for almost 12 years in the United States Air Force.

Was deployed to Saudi Arabia, Kuwait and Haiti.

He experienced and saw things that most people in their lifetime never see.

While I loved the movie there were a few scenes that brought back so vividly 

 some memories of our time in the military. Specifically returning home after deployment.

I was 4 months pregnant with our first child. I was hanging my head in the hotel bathroom toilet. Dave was finalizing packing his gear for his 4 month deployment to Kuwait. His team was leaving on a commercial plane instead of a military plane so we went and stayed the night in a hotel before he left in Philadelphia. I barely had a baby bump. I desperately wanted that bump. I wanted him to see it. Feel it.  I was crying while I was throwing up. I didn't want to be alone for my first pregnancy. I didn't want him to miss all the firsts that were yet to come. The first flutter. The first kick. Roll. Hiccup. I wanted him to watch my growing belly but instead he was deploying to Kuwait. He would come home to a body he wouldn't recognize. A belly the shape of a basketball with a growing baby in there waiting to hear the voice of her daddy. I took pictures each week of the 'bump'…documenting it and keeping Dave updated through snail mail and phone calls that he would sneak from the 'comm' closet that he had been given a key to since I was pregnant. The 4 months finally passed and it was time for his homecoming.

I remember buying a tight long dress from A Pea in the Pod. It was stretchy and form fitting and thought it would bring the most shock from my 8 month belly when he walked off the plane. The teams' wives and children waited patiently in the receiving area where the guys would get off the military plane they returned home on. One by one men in uniform filed off the plane. I waited patiently and nervously for Dave to walk through the doors. It was always a little awkward when he would return from deployments. You would think you would just strip and jump into bed, but it wasn't like that. It was more like the movie portrayed and I loved that. There was a nervousness about being together again. A nervousness about undressing and laying together because with each deployment we changed a little. Dave had to decompress from a lifestyle that he had lived that wasn't anything close to normal and with each deployment I became more independent and good at being alone. Yet all we craved was to be in each others arms and lay in bed for days on end catching up and not wanting to go anywhere. Yet undressing for that first time was always cautious and exciting at the same time.

As I watched the men file off the plane I couldn't figure out why Dave wasn't the first one off. I was getting impatient as I watched the last guy from Dave's team walk through the doors. I had been counting! I didn't know it, but the guys (his family for the last 4 months) had planned on Dave being the last one off so they could all watch his reaction to seeing me 8 months pregnant for the first time. It made the wait so worth it. What a sweet gesture from the guys who he loved and would have given their lives for while they were serving together in Kuwait. They all cheered and clapped as he walked through the doors. They had placed me front and center and Dave walked to me, hugged me then placed his hands on my very large firm belly. Later that night he turned me around so I didn't face him and said he had a surprise for me. I had loved the name Kaia from the beginning and wanted that name for our child if it was a girl. He hadn't loved the name at first but while in Kuwait he bought a gold necklace with her name on it. He placed it around my neck and it helped break the ice of being apart for so long. The nervousness slipped away and it was like we were never apart after a few hours of him being home. We were surprised with a baby girl 5 weeks after he came home from that deployment. And we named her Kaia!

I haven't been able to shake some feelings after seeing American Sniper.

My heart goes out to Chris Kyle and his family.

What a tragic end to a man's life who fought so hard for his country and his family.

I am so grateful for the accurate portrayal of returning vets and families after service.

And I am forever grateful for men and women who place their lives on the line daily for our safety while serving in the military.

If you haven't seen American Sniper yet, I suggest you do.

Expect complete silence in the movie theater at the end of the movie.

It was the first time I left a movie without ANYONE saying a word.

It was a showing of respect that was so deserved by that man.

I was actually left speechless for a good 30 minutes.

Then Dave and I were flooded with memories of his deployments.

Foster Care: Instead of saying "I can't do it, I would get too attached…"

There is nothing that stings a foster momma's heart more 

than hearing the words….

'I COULD NEVER DO FOSTER CARE, 

I WOULD GET TOO ATTACHED.'

I know this phrase is used in a sincere way, but as we are already in the business

of getting our hearts broken with good-byes, we don't need our hearts broken

from a comment that eludes that we, as foster parents, don't get attached.

So instead of chastising the comment, I'm here to offer alternatives to that comment.

How about using the following phrases instead to a foster mom:

'I could never do foster care, 

I'm afraid I wouldn't be brave enough 

for the good-bye that would eventually come.'

'I could never do foster care because 

I don't think I could recover from 

the pain that would come with the 

attachment and the goodbye.'

'I don't think I would ever have the courage 

to do what you are doing.' 

These sentiments state truth and also acknowledge

 the special and often times painful journey of a foster family.

I had a lady the other day on the phone tell me 

that she just didn't think she could do foster care because 

her heart would be ripped from her chest every time

she had to say goodbye to the child.

Through tears, I tried telling her 

that my heart has been ripped out of my chest already a few times, 

most recently two days ago when I had to watch two little girls 

that could have easily been part of our family 

move to another foster family for long-term placement. 

I could hardly get the words out because my heart 

was still breaking from that most recent good-bye.

Foster care does take a leap of faith.

It requires bravery and courage and a willingness

 to have our hearts broken into a million pieces.

Ripped out of our chest.

Time and time again.

But the journey is so worth it.

The service of love provided for however length of time…

priceless.

The lessons our families learn about ourselves, sacrifice and service

are worth every minute of heartache that follows the goodbye.

And I will tell you…the recovery comes.

Some times quicker than other times.

But it comes.

The pain lessens. The heartbreak softens.

I believe this is through our savior Jesus Christ that this

pain is healed. That my heart is pieced back together.

And then are prepared and strengthened

 to do it all over again.

Because these children deserve this love. This chance to be loved.

To be comforted. To be safe. To be fed, hugged and loved.

And as foster families, we are all ready to pray that you can find that 

bravery, that courage, that peace in knowing the pain is worth it.

And we ask that you pray for us for the same.

And be kind to our hearts by using the alternates above instead of saying….

'I'd get too attached.'

And dare I say, if you think you will get too attached 

then you are exactly who these children need

if the timing is right for you or your family.