9.22.2014

THE HARDEST PARTS....



While saying goodbye to our Little Miss was one of the hardest things we have ever done,
there were other things that were nearly as hard during the transition process.

The idea of packing her belongings up paralyzed me.
How do I pack her up to leave?
What do I pack her things in?
When do I pack up her belongings?

Those thoughts just left me in tears.

On Friday morning, I was still asking these questions.
She would be leaving that weekend and I still hadn't packed her up.
I couldn't. The idea of it was so final.

No way was I packing all her things in large black garbage bags.
And moving boxes were also out of the question.
I don't know why...but they didn't feel right either.

I thought about our suitcases. They could work.
I finally called a friend, mentor and seasoned foster care woman.
She suggested plastic bins that easily could be seen and labeled.
Toys. Clothes. Keepsakes.
That was a great idea but I know didn't have time to buy them.

I finally decided on some of my very large CUTE decorating bags and beach bags.
I started Saturday morning by organizing all her clothes by outfits!
I thought it might be easier to sort through the clothes if her new
mommy could quickly see what we paired together.

I packed her through tears, but honestly there was constantly a struggle.
A struggle to be excited for her new journey and the heartbreak of the goodbye
that needed to happen for her new journey to begin.

My greatest comfort during her transition times were spent
talking on the phone with her soon to be forever mommy.
We spent A LOT of time on the phone the couple of weeks leading up to goodbye.

We talked about her schedule and routine.
Things that comforted Little Miss.
The foods she liked.
What time she woke up and went to bed.
The laundry detergent we used so her new mommy could buy it
so her clothes smelled the same for awhile.

But I pulled back that week before she was leaving.
I didn't want my uncontrollable tears to tarnish the excitement
of their special weekend coming up.

And so I packed her on Saturday as we hung around the house.
Our last day with our little girl. Doing nothing but enjoying her in our home.

And, since I knew she would be coming to visit,
I did keep a sippy cup of hers as well as a Hello Kitty plate and bowl
for her to find when we started Family Dinners a few months later.


* * * * * 



Speaking of a 'few months later'...
that was the other Hardest Parts.

Social workers counseled us to wait at least 2 months to see her after her transition.
That idea KILLED me.
Reduced me to a blubbering mess.

2 months after she had been in our home every day for almost 2 years
felt like it was going to be an eternity.

The social worker also counseled that I would need to not be a hot mess
the morning of the goodbye transition. 
That Little Miss needed to feel peace and strength during the goodbye. 
She needed to know I trusted the process that was taking place.
 If she saw that I was a mess she might be nervous and scared.
And that was the last thing I wanted her to feel.

Thankfully Trina, her new mommy, and I agreed that we would make
our own timeline based on what Little Miss needed.
That comforted me...even though I still knew it would probably be a good 6 weeks.

But it allowed me to again show Little Miss that I trusted her new family.
I trusted this process.
And...I trusted God in His plan for her.

However hard those parts would be.

* * * * *

{Little Mister and Little Miss continued to attend the same daycare...timed very carefully so she wouldn't ever see me. And this was their reunion after two weeks of being apart.}



The daycare provider was so sweet to send these to me as soon as I drove away.
Again so grateful to God for so many who love these two children and want the best for them.
The fact that she documented it made my heart swell.


5 comments:

  1. Those last two pictures....oh my word! Must have swelled and broken your heart simultaneously. Thank you for sharing this with us so honestly. To use a phrase from Momastery...brutiful....<3

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  2. Foster mothers blow my socks off! You are amazing

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  3. Wow April, this journey has been amazing - you are so full of courage and love. Thank you for sharing!

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  4. Wow, brought me to tears. You're so during.

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