5.21.2012

Standing on my SoapBox....


We have a handicap registered license plate.
It is somewhat unusual for children with disabilities to
actually have the disabled license plate they usually only have placards.
BUT we have one.
And rightly so.

So please, strangers, do me a favor....
when we get out of the car to run into wherever we are going,
please don't try to stare me down, give me dirty looks,
or judge us because we look 'healthy'.
Instead, be grateful you aren't living with whatever disability
we are living with in our family and offer a kind smile instead.

Thank you.

BUT ....if you ever see a car pull into a handicap parking spot
without a disabled license plate or a handicap placard
please stare them down or feel free to give them dirty looks.
They are probably the same people that just gave me the dirty look
for taking the spot legitimately!

*  *  *  *  *  *

We actually don't do the above...but we do remind them kindly that they forgot to 
put up their handicap placard which usually makes them feel uncomfortable.

And for the record we follow our own code of handicap parking etiquette.
I have never parked in a handicap spot without Blake in my car.
And if a regular parking spot is available close by we will always take that one
and save the handicap spot for a wheelchair user who might need a little more room.
And if there are two handicap spots...we will never pull into the van accessible spot.

Blake can run, walk and play like a champion.
But keeping up for the whole day long is tough for him.
Doctors would rather see him save his energy for the activity than
use it all up in a parking lot. Plus we store all of his medical supplies
in our car which sometimes we need to get to quickly.

And just to keep my 'soapbox' light and remind you that we do have a good sense of humor
still when we are being stared down....because we always feel it coming.
Before getting out of the car Dave always asks...
'who's going to be the DLD?'
{designated leg dragger}

Really, not funny, but sometimes it's the only thing that keeps our blood from boiling
during those situations.


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8 comments:

  1. I feel you and I hear you sister! We get it too... even with the wheelchair lift on the back of the car! Just because on a particular day he might not need the chair, that doesn't mean he needs to walk through the whole parking lot either!

    ANd seriously.... how did you manage the plate? I used to have one, but they took it away from me :(

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  2. I get it. I have a heart condition which doesn't show on the outside. I sometimes feel judged too. I'm sorry to hear that you guys have encountered this. Hope everything goes well with Blake.

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  3. Lol...lol..lol...WE are the same...the rta had no idea how to do it for Jacob....WE get stared down as we all look healthy...but nobody sees the big grandma trolley full of oxygen tank...which is HEAVY...and 5 meds to keep him alive...i usually limp....i never use it when he's not with me and uf there's only a couple left i park close by if there are any....this is a very little thing...but in our household it means so much...it means recognition...coz when you have a sick kid who looks healthy...we anyway,pretty much do it on our own...a little recognition sometimes helps.....takes care...xxx

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  4. Oh, I am so on this soapbox with you!! We have a placard and I too get all kinds of dirty looks when I pull into a handicap parking space, but I feel all sorts of gratified when I see them watch me pull out Jake's wheelchair. The child in me reallllly wants to stick my tongue out at them, but usually I just smile and wave. ;)

    But holy cats, do I get irritated when I pull into Jake's school and all 4 handicap spots are taken by cars who have neither a placard or license plates, and neither the parents or the children getting in or out of the car appear to need to use those spots. Granted, I should give them the benefit of the doubt and assume that they just forgot their placard, but my blood just boils a little when my little boy has to wheel himself across the entire parking lot, instead of just a few feet.

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  5. I try to remember that you really can't always tell what the handicap is. My nephews can not be in the heat. They can literally boil on the insides if they can't stay cool enough. Although they don't have a placard, they need one. They are hard to come by, and they don't give them out quickly. I wish my sister in law would ask for one. Their kids get lots of looks, everywhere they go, and it's hard. It's difficult when people stare, for whatever the reason. It's hard enough being a kid, when people make mean comments life gets even harder.

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  6. I am so sorry April. I can't imagine how that must feel. Keep your head high and your sense of humor strong.

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  7. In CT it takes a form from DMV filled out and signed by the MD to get a placard and if it's a lifetime condition, there's a place to mark that. As adults we had the options of plate or placard. Can't speak to kids. I have been challenged by someone older than I but no more disabled; he told me my disability must be mental! Talk about blood boiling. I kept cool and said respiratory, actually, had my oxygen, etc. He had a cane. And I've been told I couldn't park in handicapped without a placard and had to say look at my plate! Even with a big blue PLEASE DON'T BLOCK MY WHEELCHAIR RAMP sign on my van side door, it gets blocked. My invisible handicaps of breathing and severe spinal arthritis make it pretty hard to move my car to get my chair in. Someday it will be impossible, but not today. I marvel at kids w/disabilities and their families. I respect you so much for being able to ignore the jerks.

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  8. As a twenty year old with two invisible illnesses all to often do I get dirty looks when I park in a handicap stall. I generally use crutches or a wheelchair but even then no one can physically see anything wrong with me. And then on the days I don't need the crutches or wheelchair I find myself exaggerating the limp to keep people from staring. I'm sure your son feels the love you all have for him especially when people start judging and you are right there to defend him!

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