I Can't/Don't Do it All.....

Why I'm not attending SNAP Conference and the Queen Bee Market at the last minute.

I often get asked....how do you do it all?
Well sometimes....most times I don't.

I DON'T clean my own house.
I DON'T cook regularly.
I DON'T make my kids' or husband's lunches.
I DO keep up with laundry though.
Does that make up for the other three?

We have a crazy next three weeks ahead of us.
Next week starts all kinds of doctors appointments
followed by two surgeries the following two weeks.
Little Miss is scheduled for the beginning of May
and Blake's bowel surgery is scheduled for May 14th
with us entering the hospital the Friday before {May 11th} to start 
a weekend clean-out as inpatient. 

My life was feeling like it was spinning out of control.
But I had something really fun to look forward to.
A blogging conference where I would re-connect with old friends
and meet and make a whole bunch of new friends.
Plus SNAP conference was hosting a Queen Bee Market
 that Dave and I were going to be participating in with both our booths.

Over the weekend my heart started pounding when I thought about our trip to Utah.
I had three new outfits and we had worked hard on some really fun
new items to debut in our booths at the market.
I had new coral shoes and also a bright new pair of skinny jeans to rock!
But my heart wasn't pounding from excitement.
I knew my heart was pounding because I was trying to do something
I knew we weren't suppose to be doing.

Blake has been home from school now for 3 weeks.
We have our first psychiatrist appointment next week.
We have prayed and feel like this is the best next step for us with him.
His surgery is scheduled and he is feeling better about that but is even more clingy to me than before.
Getting him to school is not an option right now.
Especially since the school district initiated a 'hands off' policy for him
which means no one can help peel him off of me and keep him in a classroom.
We are anxious to meet with this new doctor and talk about options but for now he is receiving school instruction at home from a school teacher while on 'home hospital instruction.'

So next week, we have three doctor appointments.
Two with a psychiatrist and one out of town for a pre-op appointment for Little Miss.
If everything else going on in our life wasn't enough....
Little Miss' surgery has been squeezed in-between all of this.
The following week I will be at the hospital with Little Miss {out of town} for 5 days
then home for 5 days {hopefully} than back to another hospital that is out of town for Blake's surgery.

Something had to give in these next three weeks and the only option was not heading out of town
on the weekend before the crazy started.
BUT I had three new outfits and friends I NEEDED to hug.
I fought the feeling for two days. TWO miserable days.
I felt so bad about the idea of canceling on Mique and leaving her two booths short for QBM.

I finally called Dave on Monday morning and told him we needed to stay home....
to which he replied...'NO, I'm feeling good about it today.'
So I thought...OK...we can do this.
Then I thought what the next three days would be like trying to finish projects, pack and drive out of town
with three children staying home with my mom....one who on Sunday had a fever.

With the decision to go again, 
my chest tightened even more and I started to have my own panic attack.
Oh I could feel Blake's pain.
I knew we needed to stay home.

Our family needed some calm before the storm.
They needed us home to put our house in order.
To comfort. To organize. To plan. To have fun as a family.

So I called Dave again and said...we need to stay home.
To which this time he said...'OK, I totally trust you.'

I called Mique and cried telling her.
She got it and told me the best thing.
She said....'Five years from now you won't remember going to a conference or market but you will remember doing the right thing for your family.' I burst out crying when she said that...and thanked her.
She completely understood and left me feeling confident in my decision.

One person I was hoping to hug and hang out with at the conference was Char from Crap I've Made.
She said something once that is bringing me great comfort right now...
She said, 'I don't want to be remembered as a great blogger....I want to be remembered as a great MOTHER!'

So home we are this weekend.
And all the items I have been making for QBM will be available
now in my store sooner than later.

And I will try to stay off social media this weekend because all the 
SNAP chatter will kill me seeing friends reconnect and knowing I'm not there.
Did you know I bought my ticket for SNAP a whole year ago?
That is how excited I was to go.

But this feeling of knowing I'm doing the right thing for my family....
beats out any of that pain that I will feel not being there.
And that is what matters most!

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  1. Oh, girl! You are making the best decision for your family. You have so much going on! I pray you have a peaceful weekend preparing for your crazy.

    AND, I can't wait to see those pretty necklaces listed. :)

  2. April, you're an amazing mama and doing what is best for your family. I'll miss you, but hope to see you soon! Hugs to you and all the kiddos.

  3. Good for you April! You won't regret it and you will be blessed! Praying for you during this stressful time! Hang in there. xo

  4. You rock April. You made a selfless decision in the best interest of your family and you will be blessed by it. Praying for all that is coming up.

    Much love-

  5. April, Mique is right...you will always remember the time spent with the children and your home. Make those memories and be the best mom you can. Someday, they will rise and for sure call you blessed!

  6. Sorry that you've had to make that decision-you'll be missed at snap, but you'd be more missed at home. Good luck with everything in your daily the next few weeks!

  7. You will be remembered for being a fabulous mother - I'm proud of you.

  8. April, I didn't make it to the last QBM for very similar reasons. I sent some stuff down, but it wasn't the same. I felt SO VERY BAD about it and cried when I called Jessica. You did the right thing. No one, EVER, would blame you. EVER. Your kids come first. period. We are moms trying to make our mark in the handmade business world. it's very tough. But thankfully we all understand when you say "I CAN'T DO IT". :) Big hugs friend. xoxo

  9. Oh friend...
    SO sorry it all had to come together at the same time like that. I will for sure miss you this weekend, but you know what's best...and being frazzled going into all of that stuff isn't going to help anyone...not just your kids...but you too. Sometimes I think that what our kids go through is harder on the MAMA than it is on the kid. Our hearts are tangled in our children...and your heart needs to prepare for the coming weeks. A whirlwind trip with tons of product (were you guys driving?!) probably isn't the most conducive to that. Hugs and love.

  10. Congrats on following your heart (& gut!) & doing the thing it was telling you was best. Sometimes it's best NOT to push through that feeling so that you can relax with your family. Have a great weekend!

  11. It is so hard to worry and worry about a decision weighing on you! I teared up reading all of the nice comments everyone left you. Consider yourself hugged :)

  12. Oh April!!! I am so sorry. I understand how hard decisions like this are! But you are sooo doing the right thing. It's much better than worrying the entire time you're gone! I will miss you - hopefully we'll get to meet up at the June show! Big hugs!! You are a GREAT mom. :)

  13. AMEN girl! Im right there with you! Hope your doing well! XOXO

  14. Love your heart April. Although it feels difficult now, being there for your babies is always the right thing to do. Surrendering to that voice is even more amazing, because alot of us just ignore it sometimes. May you continue to be blessed!! Xoxo Destiny

  15. I whole heartly agree with your post. I understand that now that you have 4 kids, life is even busier!

    You are great :)

  16. This makes me sadder than I know how to say. But you are doing the right and the brave thing to do. Take care of those littles first. Love you. We'll get our hug soon. Okay?

  17. Oh...mum alwayscomes first...that's what rests best with our soul...there will be loads more times when you can have non mummy fun....you time....you have so much on your plate with all these medical issues and you are a mum...you will make all these happen with the love that your kiddos need....don't feel too bad about the other people connecting...you know many of them have probably many issues just like you and secretly wished they were at home...you did the right thing and i hope all your appointments and hospital issues run smoothly and all your questions are answered...long...sorry...but i know how tough it is with sick kiddos...take care...xxx

  18. Bless your heart. Decisions are so hard to make, but you know when you get that feeling, which one you need to make. You are putting your family first and there is NOTHING to regret about that. There will be other conferences, other meet ups, other get togethers- but these kiddos need you NOW---and you know that. Good for you for listening to your heart! Praying for you and for these next 3 weeks to go off without a hitch!!!


  19. I'll miss seeing you again April. You are such a fun and inspiring person. Good luck with everything you're having to go through these next few weeks. Your sweet family is lucky to have you as a mom. You're making the best decision for your family at this time and there will be plenty more opportunities to catch up with old friends. I'll be thinking about you and all your cute clothes.

  20. You are doing the right thing :-) There will be always another conference and market and family always comes first. Eventually all the pieces fall into place my dear. Until then, know that everything happens for a reason.
    I will miss one of my two favorite booths though...I will need to shop online or drive to Napa to pick up some cool D&A pieces. Love ya. ana

  21. It's funny how much we can love people we barely/don't even know in real life. I love you and admire you and think you are brave. I also love Mique and am not at all surprised that she gave you the wise advice she did. You are amazing women!

    Lots of love and "virtual" hugs to you and your family and I pray that you will find peace and calm this week!


  22. Decisions like that are so hard! Especially with all the craziness you have going on, a trip to reconnect and see friends would probably be a welcome distraction. But, you made the right choice by choosing your family! You have so much on your plate right now and there will always be another conference and market to attend. But, you would come home kicking yourself if you went knowing all that is going on at home! Sorry you are having a rough time. You are a great mom! Hugs. xoxo

  23. You are doing the very BEST thing!!! Go, April!!!

  24. you are an awesome mama!! what a hard decision you had to make! we will both be at home on the couch, missing something, but having something even better! love you!

  25. What a tough decision. Given that you chose to stay home, I'd say you have the amazing mama thing down. Hugs to you.

  26. Well, you got this right!!! You are an awesome momma. Praying for you and your entire family. Many blessings...

  27. You are an AMAZING mom, wife and servant to the Lord! That is all that will EVER matter. You put the important things first, and those that don't understand don't deserve your awesomeness :-)

    I am SO SORRY you are having trouble with Blake. PLEASE call me if you need to chat... or text me... or email me.... anything! I will ALWAYS be here for you.

    Lifting your sweet family in prayer through the coming storm. Praying for healing and peace through it all.

    Love you guys SO MUCH!


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