Every Once in Awhile....

Every once in awhile something resonates deep within me.
Reminds me of my days spent in my first marriage.
Before Dave. A time that feels so so distant now.
I mean Dave and I have been married almost 18 years!

I don't talk about my first marriage here on the blog
BUT believe me when I say that not only is it blog worthy,
the whole story is Oprah worthy, book worthy and possibly movie worthy.

But back to every once in awhile....

{amazing cover by Walk Off the Earth}
resonates deep in my soul.
Listening to the song you feel bad for the guy.
He tells of a sad story. A lonely story.
And you have taken his side.

And then the girl chimes in with very powerful lyrics
that if you blink...you might miss the meaning.

'Now and then I think of all the times you screwed me over
But had me believin it was always something that I'd done.
I don't want to live that way.....'

I'm not sure when in my first relationship I lost my confidence.
Allowed someone to make me think it was always my fault. 
Allowed that form of emotional abuse.

But I'm so glad I don't have to live that WAY anymore.

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  1. It sounds like it's great that you were strong enough to get away from the first relationship... and you were blessed with an amazing one following that! Turned out pretty lucky after all :) :)

  2. April, while it isn't a part of your present, it is a part of your story. There is no part of your life that is wasted and clearly that time made you stronger. PLEASE hear me NOT saying you had to go through it to be strong. Goodness no. None of us would choose pain of any kind. BUT I do believe that God allows things in our lives that are a part of our story and really, really crappy from our perspective, to draw us closer to Him.

    The past is the past... and you can rejoice in the present!

    1. I just re-read what I wrote and I sound really trite. That is not my heart at all.

      I'm trying to be encouraging but somehow what is in my head isn't translating.

      Kudos for getting out of a bad situation.

      18 years is for SURE worth celebrating!

    2. Kristin....
      thank you so much for your sweet comment about my past being part of my story. I completely agree!! It is why I am the person I am today and why I am a strong woman I believe. I once told him I would marry him again and go through the pain of the divorce to be married to the man I am married to today. I wouldn't a change any part of my story! I didn't read your comment as trite at all!

      love ya!

  3. CONGRATULATIONS!! I too got out of a VERY abusive marriage. I am now remarried for almost 4 years and it has been such a blessing. My new husband is a saint I swear. He adores my girls and treats them as if they were his own. I truly am blessed as are you. Way to go. I'm proud of you and happy that your story will have a happy ending. :)

  4. Your response to Kristin is awesome. A sibling of mine just got out of a very abusive marriage and its amazing to already see what he's become. I am so so proud of anyone who can take the step to leave that kind of unhealthy situation.

  5. I am so happy that THIS is now your story. I heard a snippet of your story and I was sucked in, best seller for sure.

    I LOVE that song!

  6. Wow I totally could have wrote this post. I was married before and I feel the same way. I feel like I often look like the bad guy but I know I am so blessed now in my functional happy marriage.

  7. I'd heard this song but never *listened* to this song. Six years after walking out of a bad situation and never looking back, in my dreams I'm still reminded of the power he once had. They shake me to the core and leave me out of sorts all day. The day you posted this was one of those days. Perfect timing.

    I'm so grateful for the lives we have now and it seems this theme rings true for many of the women who previously commented.

  8. I needed to read this today. thank you for posting. perfect timing for me right now. hugs.


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