Bachelor Re-Cap

Oh Switzerland you are so pretty.
So are you Nicki.
Ben...eeh...not so much.
Seriously, I'm surprised any of these girls are attracted to you.

I am so over the helicopters.
Oh, but the scary nose dive was good!

I'm so tired of hearing about relationship/show talk.
They just always re-hash everything they have done.
There is no small talk, no fun talk, with any of the girls.
When the shows over...what are they going to talk about?

Oh Lyndzi....you are so darling and way too sweet for Ben.
I'm so over all the analogies to falling in love.
And Ben you lack communication skills...which is probably why there isn't much small talk.
For example...
Lyndzi walks into fantasy suite and says: Oh my gosh this is so beautiful.
Ben: Right?

Right...just kills the conversation. These poor girls are having to do all the talking.
A reliable rumor has it that Ben made about $300,000 to do the show.
Slept with 5 women on the show.
And, was really only promoting his wine company not really caring to fall in love.
I'm starting to believe it all.
He just doesn't seem passionate about finding a girl.
Sure he says he 'loves this girl' when talking about Lyndzi....
but I love a lot of people....doesn't mean I'm IN LOVE with them.
And now I'm wondering which 5 he slept with.
The three overnighters are given...but the other two.
Maybe Kasie B. and Emily.

Hey Courtney...I'm pretty sure your attempt at damage control will work now...
but Ben will still be shocked when he watches the show...
because I do believe that beyond being a gold digging reality show whore with bad hair....
he is a nice guy and wants a nice girl in the end.

And I'm just saying right now...I'm betting Courtney has a special little outfit packed for the overnighter.
Let's see if I'm right.

Courtney says she likes what she sees....but I'm pretty sure she is only attracted to his $$$.
And Ben wants to use the fantasy suite to take their relationship to the next level...
thought that happened skinny dipping.

Courtney...hope you brought a long enough nighty to cover your calves...
because there is no way you can compete with Lyndzi's amazing legs!

oh c'mon...I was wrong. Court didn't bring her A-game.
Just a small little wooden hot tub...no nighty.

Ashley needs to stop talking during the movie and making comparisons.
Emily is cute. Should be a good Bachelorette!
And I love her green top.

Kasie B. got a free trip to Switzerland...really?
It's because the show was boring and there wasn't enough drama.
Ben is actually looking like he regrets sending her home when he sees her at the door.
His heart is racing and he can't stop smiling. I think he really liked her.

Oh Ben of little words...answering Kasie's question could be hard.
And...yup I knew it...it came down to family.
Kasie...tell him you are ready to break the mold of your family.
Good for you. Not that I necessarily agree.
And there Ben goes...with nothing to say.
He is so pissed about the Courtney comment he can't even think.
And why is Kasie laying on the floor?
Poor girl was secretly hoping he would change her mind and keep her.
I can't wait for the Women Tell All show.
That will be the most exciting part of this whole season.

You are so being played by Courtney...but for some reason I don't think you really care.
Or maybe he does. He seems pretty shaken up over this with Chris.
Yes...you'll have regrets. Kasie just told you that she would have moved in with you.

What kind of ring is Chris Harrison wearing on his wedding finger?
I'm pretty sure he is sending Nicki home.
But if he sends Courtney home...then I'm really sure he will pick no one at the end.

Lyndzi will get the first rose...just for the last rose drama.
He is really making Courtney sweat this one out.

Oh Nicki....seriously....just look at this hair...that should make you feel better.

And their snowman outtake...
wow Ben can small talk and has a sense of humor.
although hans was too easy of a swiss name.
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  1. Seriously laughing! Great commentary! Just last night, when we were watching I told my husband that Ben never says anything of any value...ever. Then he walked into the fantasy suite and said RIGHT. He's such a dweeb. That said, can't wait for next weeks Women Tell All.

    1. Heather...you picked up on the RIGHT also. Such a conversation killer. I mean they could have talked about the view...the decor...their dream house style...but Ben is boring...so RIGHT fits him!

  2. Hilarious. OK, so, friends and I watch together and put a little running commentary togehter (like yours) and another friend a state away does the same. I'm going to email ours to you. Just for yet another laugh.

    You'd have fun with us April... Hope all is well with ALL your babies. :-) love the Instagram pics.

  3. Oh April, I love your Bachelor recaps! You hit the nail on the head with this one! Right? Yep. mmmhmm. huh. yep. right. yep. yep. right. yep. :)

  4. Hahaha- I love your commentary....his lack of conversational skills + his progressively awful hair= ready for this season to be over and the next season to begin:-) It was pretty hard to watch this one...

  5. Now I am hoping he picks Courtney, Lyndzie is too good for him. Remember a couple episodes ago when he said he wanted a wife that isn't offensive and that other people like? Well he definitely had sex right after that, because that went right out the window. He deserves Courtney.

  6. I just found this site. Good read. So Ben slept with 5 women on the show? I can 3...but the other 2? When and where did that happen? But I am sure he likely did..he is a frat boy player who had no intention on finding a wife.
    The 5 women may be true I read Bachelor Bob claimed he laid 5.5 women his season..and Ben is such a sleazy he would try to break that record.
    Now as a man I am tring to figure out the other two chicks. I think one is Blakely. Why do I say that? Well when he dumps chicks he don't like he don't even tell em goodbye but he went after her. And I am sure she was ready and time any place. He may have laid Kacie B Id say 50-50..She became to have deep feeling for the guy so it may be she had sex with him and thus....or the Wild Card Emily..I could kind of see him doing a quicky with her in Belize.

  7. I wonder if they just don't show the silly, normal small talk because it wouldn't be that interesting? I really hope there is that cutesy chit chat, teasing, and small talk that happens when you first start dating. I was seriously thinking, watching this episode, this very same thought, and talked myself out of the fact that it NEVER happens. I am forcing myself to believe it's just editing. I know when I get to know someone (romantically back in the day or just on a friendly level today), I'm always jabbing and testing and talking about small nothings - sports, family outtakes, sports....sports. LOL

    I can't figure out WHEN he would have slept with any other gals except for the overnight dates this episode??? Interesting insider knowledge.


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