On My Mind....

This dining room set from World Market.

On My Mind: Fostering Love

My mind has been paralyzed since foster care started.
Well....not really my mind, but my ability to write.
As my heart becomes more and more attached, the
thought 'how do we NOT adopt' overruns every other thought I have.
But I always come back to the journey we started on....fostering.
And it resonates in me...to continue to foster not to adopt.
Loving these babies while they are in our home.
Oh so loving them. More than I thought possible.
If you saw them, held them, interacted with them....
you would understand the dilemma in my heart.
Plus I never imagined having a bio mom beg me to adopt her children
if they end up going up for adoption.

On My Mind: Decorating

So instead of thinking about that....
my thoughts are about decorating my house.
That is my escape right now.
And my new white walls aren't helping the matter either.
It's like I want a new clean fresh start in our home.
So I am in the process of listing my current Pottery Barn
dining room table and chairs on Craigslist in order to purchase the new set!

On My Mind:  Blake

Surgery update. Met with Shriner's doctor last week. He agreed to do a different type of surgery.
A less permanent bladder neck fix and no bladder augmentation (or largening) at this time.
So two surgeries....the ACE Malone and Bladder Neck Cuff placement.
Yippee!! I now feel comfortable with the surgeries planned.
Although they present some new risks, more care, upkeep and possible complications,
Dave and I are content and Blake is happy.
On the school front...Blake is not.
We have started back with defiancy in the morning.
He either doesn't get out of the car or goes and stands in front of the car so I can't leave.
Go ahead....you can laugh.
I'm sure it is a sight to see.
And, if I try to get out the car to move him, he runs from me,
then when I get back in the car, he goes and jumps in front of the car again.
A cat and mouse chase that really isn't funny with a 9 year old.

For the first time in my life, I am realizing that each child truly is different,
and maybe we might need to take a different approach to schooling for Blake.
With these thoughts have brought extreme peace in my heart and I know I am on the right track.
Right now my goal is to get him into the classroom this week while we work on some alternatives.
We failed today. He has been home.
In his room, with his backpack, snack and lunch and not to come out until 3:00 pm.
I made him read a short book and write a little book report.
"little" was the wrong word to use. He wrote one sentence.
But he wrote it!

On My Mind: Kaia

Raise your hand if you have a teenage girl in your house.
If you did raise your hand....I'm sorry.
Our sweet little girl, has become a sweet moody girl with attitude.
The sweetness is still there...but the moods and attitude overshadow it sometimes.
I know we are not alone. And this is totally normal.
I'm trying to enjoy every minute of it because I know she will be grown and gone before too long.
She has made such good friends at school.
Friends that respect what she believes in and what she stands for.
She made our local Club Volleyball Team and is loving it.
She also got a part in her high school musical play "Hairspray"
and we are all so excited to see it all come together, watch the performances
and then never hear another Hairspray song ever again!

Both kids are loving having the babies in our home.
Blake can often be found talking away with Little Mister
and Kaia regularly whisks Little Miss down to her room to do her hair
and have hang out time on her bed!

On My Mind:  Dave

We have had a few setbacks with the new responsibilities with the added children.
A few letters have almost been written....but there hasn't been time.
A quick chat seems to do us good.
We are needing regular date nights again now that we have 'littles' in our home.
Anyone want to babysit?

The whole Kaia watching Blake thing isn't working out so well these days.
Remember....we have a teenager in our house!

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  1. I'm with ya on many fronts. I have 3 teen girls living in my house. I have a child with special needs and all that comes with that. I have little ones that get in the way of doing much else. I have an 8 year old who hates school too. I have a hard time connecting with my hubby who has been working super long hours and I hardly ever see him. Keep on keeping on. Move forward. Baby steps... Not always easy. Hanging in there with ya! xo

  2. I understand so much of what your saying. I can only offer a "hang in there"...it's not much, but you know that it will all work out exactly the way things should be. I give you HUGE credit for what your doing with Fostering. I know I couldn't do it. I know you must be incredibly special to be able to do this. Those children are very lucky to have you and your family in their lives right now.
    And...I have a teenage daughter too....enough said! I also have a teenage boy and one pre-teen boy and a 6 year old that thinks she is 22. I feel your pain :)

  3. gosh...wrote the longest reply and it got lost...my son was the same...till he was in year 4..once i asked the school for help the pressure was off me...the principal and home school liaison officer came back yo or house one bad morning...from here we had regular visits from the hslo..the was so lovely...we went to a psychologist and my son was diagnosed with social and school anxiety...he got picked on a lot from kids and teachers...it used to break my heart....i believe he has aspergers ...anyhow...we still treated it how it was needed regardless of the diagnosis...we told him routines of the day..the teacher..well the nice ones ...wrote the daily timetable up on the board..we discussed and practiced social skills and pprepared him using the internet for anything different that would come up at school and home...he is very clever and in year 12 now...with the same group of quirky and i adore quirky friends he made in year 4...he says to me even now he wishes he was home schooled back then..i guess ask for help...i was bawling the first time i confessed to the school i was having a tough time...and know that eventually he will be ok and that you need to do what your heart tells you is best..take care...xxx

  4. I have five daughters and I homeschool them so they are alwasy around. I feel your pain. They all said they would never turn into 'teenagers'. Wrong, all but one are there. Some days I just pray for survival for us all and I cherish the good times. I pray things get better for everyone in your house.
    Susan @

  5. You are such an amazing woman. I don't have kids, so all of what you're going through already seems somewhat unimaginable to me. But going through it with such grace and generosity is just amazing and humbling to me.

  6. Wow - you have so much going and how you keep your head on straight most days is a mystery to me. Just know that your thoughts do not go unheard and posts like this keep it in perspective (for me at least) that even the most fabulous people go through everyday, normal problems! The whole teenager in the house scares me - I have a 7 year old and 3 year old so in about 8 years I'll be in the thick of it with 2! Yikes.

  7. Gosh, I feel lazy! I understand the teenage in the house problems. Kirra wasn't too hard until her senior year, and Tristan, he's already hard. It's just the mouthiness! Your Mom told me once that when the teenager rolls their eyes at you, make 'em roll them back. I've tried it, and it's pretty funny.
    Sweet Blake, I have never seen that side of him. I hope that he has a better days ahead. It must be hard to be him sometimes. He's always welcome at my house!
    And you...hope you get some rest and time to breathe a little!!

  8. Hey, April! I've been lurking, keeping up with what's going on with you and yours ;-) God has blessed you tremendously as you know but sometimes troubles come along as you also know. I'm saying a prayer for you that your heart stays as open & welcoming as its been, that you continue to see the beauty around & within you and that your struggles become a bit easier. God bless you, April for all that you do - thank you for sharing your life with us!

  9. Hey, April! I've been lurking, keeping up with what's going on with you and yours ;-) God has blessed you tremendously as you know but sometimes troubles come along as you also know. I'm saying a prayer for you that your heart stays as open & welcoming as its been, that you continue to see the beauty around & within you and that your struggles become a bit easier. God bless you, April for all that you do - thank you for sharing your life with us!

  10. I am blown away by your strength, patience and how you have taken on fostering amidst the challenges you have with your own children. Those babies are certainly blessed to be in your home, for no matter how long they are with you. I will keep you and your family in my prayers! And I love the dining set...home decorating is always a good and fun distraction! :)

  11. I don't KNOW what you are saying...My kids are 9 and 6--I do not have children with special needs. I do not have foster children. But I do the feeling of being overwhelmed. I do know all about having something on my plate to do and not doing it. And I totally get needing date night.

    I am praying for you April...love you way over on the east coast!


  12. You know we have the teenage brat-titude at our house too. Big time. It can be really awful. You are NOT alone!!!! Hang in there momma

    WHIP IT GOOD! ;)


  13. When I think of the foster care system, sadly the first thing that comes to my mind are the sad stories. But when I read your thoughts, my heart is so happy for these two sweet children. What a blessing you are for them, and in turn they are for you and for your family.

    This new surgical plan sounds like it will be so good for Blake, and I'm so glad you're feeling more at ease about it. I'm sorry that he's having such a hard time right now with school. I wish I had some words of wisdom or some wonderful advice, but I think you're doing an amazing job.

    I have a 12 year old and oh boy is she getting into the mood swings...I know it's all normal, but sometimes I wonder how I'll survive the next few years ;)

  14. You sure do have a lot on your plate girlfriend. You and Dave can do this. I resonate with you on several issues. I have two teenage girls and a little. I have a husband that I don't get as much time with as I would like. We can do this!

  15. So many words, some possible advice and mostly just a hug for you sweet mama!


  16. Oh April..you are one amazing and strong woman! Its amazing what you and Dave are doing despite the challenges you already have and yet you are being selfless and still extending love & grace. Its been awesome to hear and see how things are being orchestrated by God, thank you for sharing..You are all in my prayers.


I heart comments! Just one rule that I'm sure your momma taught you...if you don't have anything nice to say...please don't say anything at all!

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