On My Mind....

This dining room set from World Market.

On My Mind: Fostering Love

My mind has been paralyzed since foster care started.

Well....not really my mind, but my ability to write.

As my heart becomes more and more attached, the

thought 'how do we NOT adopt' overruns every other thought I have.

But I always come back to the journey we started on....fostering.

And it resonates in me...to continue to foster not to adopt.

Loving these babies while they are in our home.

Oh so loving them. More than I thought possible.

If you saw them, held them, interacted with them....

you would understand the dilemma in my heart.

Plus I never imagined having a bio mom beg me to adopt her children

if they end up going up for adoption.

Heartbreaking.

On My Mind: Decorating

So instead of thinking about that....

my thoughts are about decorating my house.

That is my escape right now.

And my new white walls aren't helping the matter either.

It's like I want a new clean fresh start in our home.

So I am in the process of listing my current Pottery Barn

dining room table and chairs on Craigslist in order to purchase the new set!

On My Mind:  Blake

Surgery update. Met with Shriner's doctor last week. He agreed to do a different type of surgery.

A less permanent bladder neck fix and no bladder augmentation (or largening) at this time.

So two surgeries....the ACE Malone and Bladder Neck Cuff placement.

Yippee!! I now feel comfortable with the surgeries planned.

Although they present some new risks, more care, upkeep and possible complications,

Dave and I are content and Blake is happy.

On the school front...Blake is not.

We have started back with defiancy in the morning.

He either doesn't get out of the car or goes and stands in front of the car so I can't leave.

Go ahead....you can laugh.

I'm sure it is a sight to see.

And, if I try to get out the car to move him, he runs from me,

then when I get back in the car, he goes and jumps in front of the car again.

A cat and mouse chase that really isn't funny with a 9 year old.

For the first time in my life, I am realizing that each child truly is different,

and maybe we might need to take a different approach to schooling for Blake.

With these thoughts have brought extreme peace in my heart and I know I am on the right track.

Right now my goal is to get him into the classroom this week while we work on some alternatives.

We failed today. He has been home.

In his room, with his backpack, snack and lunch and not to come out until 3:00 pm.

I made him read a short book and write a little book report.

"little" was the wrong word to use. He wrote one sentence.

But he wrote it!

On My Mind: Kaia

Raise your hand if you have a teenage girl in your house.

If you did raise your hand....I'm sorry.

Our sweet little girl, has become a sweet moody girl with attitude.

The sweetness is still there...but the moods and attitude overshadow it sometimes.

I know we are not alone. And this is totally normal.

I'm trying to enjoy every minute of it because I know she will be grown and gone before too long.

She has made such good friends at school.

Friends that respect what she believes in and what she stands for.

She made our local Club Volleyball Team and is loving it.

She also got a part in her high school musical play "Hairspray"

and we are all so excited to see it all come together, watch the performances

and then never hear another Hairspray song ever again!

Both kids are loving having the babies in our home.

Blake can often be found talking away with Little Mister

and Kaia regularly whisks Little Miss down to her room to do her hair

and have hang out time on her bed!

On My Mind:  Dave

We have had a few setbacks with the new responsibilities with the added children.

A few letters have almost been written....but there hasn't been time.

A quick chat seems to do us good.

We are needing regular date nights again now that we have 'littles' in our home.

Anyone want to babysit?

The whole Kaia watching Blake thing isn't working out so well these days.

Remember....we have a teenager in our house!