Dear Dave + April {A Tuesday Series....hard = easy}

Dear Dave,

I've been staring at this picture since I first saw it a couple of days ago. I keep looking at you and think 'this picture of us captures the exact man I married.' It's almost as though your whole soul radiates through that relaxed, content, happy expression and I can see your heart.

We've had a rough go the last few months. It hasn't been bad, but I feel like we were slowly slipping back into bad habits and old patterns. Life got really busy and we forgot to take time for us.

I love this picture for different reasons than the first. I love how 'easy' this picture is. How it captures our light-hearted playful relationship. These pictures where taken at our friends, Brad & Caitlin's Wedding. The same afternoon we decided to go renew our vows at a Reno Wedding Chapel for fun later that evening!

What struck me most about these pictures is that our relationship did look so easy and it was. But that easy feeling came when we were working the hardest on our marriage. Enriching it. Making time to connect and talk at the end of each day. Putting each other first. And, I've realized that we have settled into complacency again. And what was so easy and good, now that we have stopped working on it, is slipping into difficult and feelings of not being connected.

When we first started dating after our divorces there were two things that we knew we needed most from each other. Two things that we felt we were most hurt from our other relationships. I asked that you talk to me kindly. That I not be sworn at or put down. I needed to be treated tenderly with words. You needed to know and be told that you were loved. That you were wanted and needed. That I would always be there for you with constant reassurances. We promised each other those two things 18 years ago. That we would never hurt each other in those two ways that other people who claimed to love us had hurt us.

You reminded me on Friday that I was failing when you said, 'you know a phone call that you miss me would be nice once in awhile...not just a when are you going to be home.' It reminded me of our promises and gave me something to work on....to help us get to 'easy' again.

I love that we have been challenged to pray together once a day by our Bishop. I love the idea of humbly getting on our knees together and asking Heavenly Father for direction, strength, peace and love in our home. I look forward to working hard again on our relationship so it comes easy and I think our Tuesday series needs to start back up for accountability. What do ya think? Are you on board?

Love, Ape

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  1. Oh my gosh April. First, I adore these photos - especially the one of Dave and your feet. You two are super super cute (well, he's cute - you're beautiful). And, I adore the letter he wrote you. I think you should bind these letters and get them published. You keep it real and I love you guys more for it! XO Jess

  2. You put it so well. Marriage can be easy but you have to put in the effort to get there. I know the feeling but it is so worth the "easy" feeling in the end.

  3. I just want to tell you that i love your blog.There are blogs out there with writing that sounds so fake.. like they are trying so hard to put on this facade that everything is perfect. Every time I read your posts I think...wow, she's so real, so sweet and so funny!

  4. It's so darn hard. That's all. I cannot wait to read his response. Because I know he will, and I know it will be positive. I have that much faith in the two of you by simply reading what you write to one another.

    Now if only my relationship can get on track like this. Because we make it too darn hard on ourselves by ignoring what the others needs constantly.

  5. I love the pictures. Somehow there are never enough pictures of my husband and I. It's usually one of us and the kids.

    I really wish my husband would do something like this with me. Our communication has been whittled down to texting. There is so much stress in a marriage, that doing something like this should be a requirement. Yay for you guys! You make a great looking couple and I am happy that you both care enough to work on your relationship. Too many people in this world have the "throw-away" mentality.

  6. Those pictures are so perfect and priceless. Love them so much!

    Just want you both to know that I really have missed the Dave & April series. I missed them and I need them :)

    Thanks for inspiring me!

  7. Such a good reminder. So true.

  8. I love this idea of working hard so that things become easy. So true. I have been trying harder in my own marriage and your letters inspire me. Thank you!


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