Under Construction....

HOME:  This is right smack dab in the middle of my house right now. I feel like I AM under construction in every aspect of my life right now. I don't think there is one finished room in our home at this moment. Oh wait...there is. The front bathroom...but that toilet clogs on a regular basis so it doesn't count in my book.

I told Dave this weekend that I felt that we were always going to be THAT family with the messy garage. Always. I wish it would change, but after 17 years together, we can only keep it clean for a good two weeks. I blame our small house. 1300 square feet is comfortable but small. The garage is the gathering place for everything that doesn't fit! So home is under construction. Partly because of the 1300 square feet issue. We are always trying to change it up a bit to feel a little roomier. Like in the picture above. The office used to be a closed in space right in the middle of our home. Now we are opening it up to make two computer/homework spaces for better open living. I'll keep you posted.

BLOG: People that know me personally know that I change the decor in my home regularly. Just little things, but I constantly like to change with the seasons. Fortunately in CA we only have two seasons! Well my blog is like my home away from home. There will be some changes this week. Watch for them. I think it is exciting. But also please be patient this week as the Life Made Lovely design team tweak around with my layout and settings. I have a huge crush right now on the color Navy Blue! Watch for little snippets of that color making an appearance on my blog.

By far the blog under construction is the easiest in my life. The dreamiest actually. Partly because I hire help in this area. I share my dreams in my head and Heather and Mollie are doing all the hard work for a really affordable price. The house dreams/designs aren't so affordable!

PERSONAL:  I sat in church yesterday and realized I am barely doing enough to get by. That is a crappy feeling. I'm barely teaching my children enough spiritually, we are barely praying enough, barely reading our scriptures enough. Just getting by isn't a great feeling spiritually. Not when you know the blessings of heaven can be opened up if we do our part. Not just barely. I need to work on that and make some changes.

Also under construction is my issue with PROCRASTINATION. I'm still working on that too. I have figured out what works for me to help beat procrastination. I love making lists of what needs to get done in a day. But my lists were always too long. So I'd ignore it because I knew I was just setting myself up for failure at the end of the day. Why not just start the day as a failure....OK kidding! So now, my list needs to fit on a Post-It Note for the day. I allow myself one item to transfer to the next day...the rest are non-negotiable. There are usually 4-5 important things on the list with my hardest 'to-do's' or least favorites at the top. With this shorter list I often times feel like I've succeeded at the end of each day...that is, as long as I don't add MAKE DINNER to that list!

Also personally, I need to clear my head a bit because I am finding myself completely blanking out on people I know. I look at them and can't for the life of me remember their name. It is scary. I have a friend that when she turned 30 felt like she was 'losing' it. She couldn't remember things, couldn't remember peoples names. I'm there right now. She went to the doctor and the doctor told her she is a busy mom. That was her diagnosis.

Well the other day...{and this is so embarrassing to admit, but I keep having nightmares about it} I was in my car with Blake. A friend pulled up next to me and waved. I didn't recognize her right off the bat with her glasses on and she knew it. She pulled her glasses off and then I really waved. We unrolled our windows, exchanged quick hellos and how are yous and then she told me she had just had surgery...had I heard? And with that...out went her name...who she was. I knew I knew her, but couldn't figure out her name when we drove away. Still can't for the life of me figure it out. It makes me so mad, but it also makes me realize that I need to simplify some things in my life to make room in my head for the important things...like my friends' names!

I joke that this might be early signs of dementia but it does scare me.  I crawled into bed last night vowing and praying for some changes. Some construction in my own life this week. I also curled up next to Dave and said...."Hunny, if I ever forget who you are...will you just hold me and keep me safe until I remember you?" And, I was dead serious!

Please tell me I'm not alone......

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  1. Why do I feel like I can "copy and paste" this entire post onto my blog?!? Seriously!

  2. somedays i have those days where my diagnosis is "busy mom" too. especially because I have a tendency to overcommit. i can't tell you how lucky i am to have Mr. G - he's the best glue I've found - he keeps EVERYTHING together when I don't have a clue...

  3. I think that doctor was right about the "busy mom" diagnosis. I can't keep anything together lately myself. I completely forgot this morning I was supposed to go get my flu shot until my husband called to remind me. I feel like such a flake. I know what helps me is to try not to multi-task so much. I think multi-tasking fries your brain. It is impossible not to do it a little bit, especially when you have kids. But, I feel so much better if I really focus on one thing at a time when I am doing it. Just trying to be really 'present' in the moment can help! :)

  4. I JUST finished telling my friend that I've been so clumsy, forgetful and tired lately...I'm not pregnant but some days I wonder. I'll be turning 30 at the end of this month, work full-time, am married (celebrated 6 years on Saturday!) and have a busy 2 year old at home!

  5. Have your thyroid checked. Seriously! Around 35 mine just quick working. Didn't catch it for a long time but I had symptoms such as weight gain, tired all the time, couldn't think in complete sentences, blanking out on people's names or where I knew them from. It is a simple thing to check at your doctor's office. Busy mom might be right, but it could be something else.

    Love you Sweetie. Hugs and kisses to the fam.

  6. I'm 25 and that happens to me all the time. I have no kids and no super-stressful life, but I just have no recollection or recall sometimes on things I've known for years. It's somewhat of a consolation to me that my husband is continuously blanking out on people's names. Makes me feel like I'm losing my mind a little less :)

  7. Love this post! So honest and true :)

  8. You are the best. I love the honesty of this post.

    Also, I'm thinking you need to share your secrets on how you grew your blog! Probs cause you're so honest and just the all around greatest, right?

  9. You are SO NOT ALONE. Oh my. That last blurb was totally spot on for me. I walk around with an iPhone and a paper planner and I still forget what I am doing/where I am going/what I am getting.

    And garage? Forget about it, April. Do you want to see a photo of mine? You know we have basements here, too. So not only do we have an extra 900sq ft down there, but I have a 1 car garage that doesn't fit a car that is used solely for storage. And they are both disaster pits. Serious.

  10. you are not alone hunni!! randomly i will see people and be like i KNOW i know this person from somewhere and i think and think and can never figure it out! it bugs me SO much!!

  11. I wish everyone would wear name tags. I have a horrible time with names, and name tags would fix everything.
    I can't believe everything you have going on. Good luck!~

  12. I am just like you! I can't remember where I know people college or HS.

    The other day this guy came up to my parents and I at lunch, and he said: "I took you on a date in college", and I said "You did?!"

    My Dad thought it was sooo funny! :)

    Oh geez! What is wrong with us! :)

  13. Not alone at all. I have the same type of memory loss. I used to be so sharp and never had to make a list (only in my head) and I'd complete it all and then some. Now I find myself forgetting quite easily. I think it's a mom thing. I believe it's an over-committing issue. Never wanting to let anyone down so you pack it all in and then find you can't even remember what it was that you just did. and wasn't I supposed to enjoy that moment. Oh I forgot to! Yikes!

    BTW.. my basement is the messy zone. I just want to get rid of stuff but the hubster is a saver.

    Hang in there. We're all in the same boat.

    Maybe it's nutritional. I don't take any kind of supplements. Hmmmm.....

  14. Oh April I hate that feeling too! It sounds to me like you just have alot going on and your mind is overwhelmed. Praying things can calm down soon.
    And I totally get the "house is all projects" thing. Our home was built in 1860 and we're always working on it. Our master bathroom was started LAST SUMMER and we do what we can as the budget allows...which isnt much at once.
    Hang in there!

  15. You could just add my name to your post. I have the worst memory !!! I thank God that I have a friend who remembers everything for me or I would be lost. It is nice to know that I am not alone.

  16. I seriously think that I could take this entire post and put in on my blog! The only difference is that I don't remember names!! I remember faces but forget names..
    I'm the worst procastinator, and I'm totally slacking spiritually also :( why is that you KNOW what you're supposed to do, yet it doesn't happen?
    Hope you're week is better!
    Oh, kept forgettting to mention that I made the pesto pizza w/ the grapes..AMAZING!! :)


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