I love that we have been working for the past two weeks on disciplining our children together.....not punishing our children. I loved that we learned together the difference between discipline and punishment in our special classes. I think it hit the nail on the head and it is what causes heated arguments. Punishment. When we discipline we offer natural consequences to actions, when we punish we are really exerting our anger and using our emotion to try to punish the child. Discipline is done with little or no emotion. The consequence is simple. It fits the crime. Child tears room apart while mad, child cleans room and then helps clean another room in the house. Child tears room apart and punishment ensues when parent walks in screaming and yelling and telling the child they will not leave the room now as parent continues to yell and plops child on the floor to start cleaning room. The words are harsher with punishment than discipline. Punishment makes me cringe. Not only when I hear you exert your emotion, but also after I have exerted my emotion too.
I love that we have a little hand motion that we make to remind each other to go into 'zero emotion' mode when disciplining. I love the spirit that it has brought into our home with less yelling and losing our tempers with our children because of their actions. I love that there is little to no argument on our end with our children. We tell them once, give a second warning and that's it. No bargaining, no ultimatum, just discipline put into action if child does not listen. What a concept. Why did it take us so long to figure this out. I just love that we are on the same page and moving in a good direction and partnering in parenting and discipline. It makes such a big difference.
P.S. I also love that we decide what the discipline will be together, not just a random discipline that might not fit into our schedule and cause more angst between me and you!
* * * * * * *
Ditto. Amazing concept huh? I love our classes that we are taking and will miss them when they are done. But looking forward to the journey we will start.
Dave and I have been taking some serious classes that will start our family on a special journey. More about it next week!