Dear Dave,
I'm grouchy tonight. There I said it. You called it and that just ticked me off even more. I'm not sure why I'm grouchy. Maybe it is because I painted for the first time today! Now I realize why you are grouchy when you paint. I think that should just be something we agree to hire out! I might also be grouchy because I only got three things done on my list today and I worked ALL. DAY. LONG. I'm also grouchy because with all your working I dread bedtime with the kids now. What used to be a joint venture has now become me doing it mostly by myself after you have pointed out, from sitting on the couch, that it is way past the kiddos bedtime and somehow that is my fault. I completely appreciate that you have worked a long hard day. I have too, but mine is different. I sit for most of my work....you are my hard working, hammer swinging hard work kind of man. I understand when you get home you want to sit and not get up. BUT...I need bedtime to be a joint venture again. I like when we all head down the hall together, you give me a bathroom break from taking care of Blake for the day and we head into one of the kid's room for family scripture and prayer time. Life getting put on hold for a few minutes each night for our family. I miss that bedtime routine, and I bet our kids miss it too. Let's make that a priority this next week. Make bedtime our special family time again. Plus I can probably guarantee that I will have way more loving feelings for you when crawling into bed with you that probably would benefit you in ways that you wish!
That's it for now. Just so you know.....I love you. I love that you paint for me. I love that you work hard for our family. I love that you have been home before 9pm the past few days....but I'm still grouchy tonight. Sorry.
Love, me
* * * * *
Dear April,
I would tend to agree that you are a little freakin' grouchy tonight. But I really haven't noticed...too much. Sometimes I work for 10 hours and only accomplish 1 or 2 things. It's no fun. You tell me to make a list and check off things when I'm done. It doesn't work so well when you only get 2 things done on a list of 15. So I can understand why you are so frustrated. Now you know why I want to spaz out after painting the same room 3 times. It's not really that fun. With regard to bedtime, if you need help with the kids just ask instead of just doing it yourself. I still love you a lot even when you are grouchy and I agree family time should be the most important time of the day. So there it is down and dirty...the solution and how I feel. For the record, I hate painting but do it because I love you.
Love, D
How do you handle bedtime if you have children? Together or separate.....
I feel like the comment stalker today. My husband has a strange schedule, so often, I am alone putting the 3.5 year old (with ASD) to bed and the baby as well. Bedtime can be a challenge for him, ranging from totally normal toddler stalling techniques to five hour meltdowns where you have no idea what's wrong or how to fix it. I've found that, for him, transitions help a lot. We use the iPad to transition him into bed, and then we lay and sing songs together. It doesn't always work, and that sounds way more harmonious than it usually is (ha!), but I think you have to find out the rhythm that works for our family.
ReplyDeleteI love these! So sweet. The honesty between the two of you inspires me to do these letters with my husband. Your family bedtime routine sounds perfect too! The idea of the whole family ending the night together like that warms my heart. Thanks for continuing to share this series with us!
ReplyDeleteEven when Matt is home I do the bedtime. Not because I want to, I actually hate it. Not because I hate saying goodnight to my kids and kissing their little foreheads and pulling the sheets up under their chins but because... Every single night both kids say to me "mom, will you tuck me in" and for some reason I CANNOT STAND WHEN THEY SAY THAT!! they know I will, I do every single night, without fail. I do not need to be reminded. And...if I say I will be there in a minute, STOP calling MOM every 5 seconds till I get there, cause it just makes me grumpy! Not once do I recall have I ever heard DADDDDD, will you tuck me in?!!!
ReplyDeleteHey April,
ReplyDeleteIt's been way too long since I popped by here and offered a hello :).
But I just had to put in my two cents on how we do bedtime. Obviously it looks different for us having only one child, but here it is ...
Around the time our son was about 18months I started to dread bedtime, I too would start feeling resentful of my husband 'relaxing' on the couch while I was mentally going through all I still had to get done that night. I'm sure I got into a fight about it and like Dave, my husband said, all you needed to do was ask. And so, I made it very clear (the proof is in the pudding or something ;) that him doing bedtime (including bath time) for me at least every other day would benefit us both greatly ;). I could get a few things done and have a 'mental quiet time' and be more energized for the rest of the evening ahead.
So, almost 6 years later we now have an unspoken sharing of the bedtime task. In all honesty, my husband probably does it more than me.
Happy First day of Summer!! Enjoy!!