The Bachelorette - Re Cap.

Let's start this train wreck of a show.
I already have so many thoughts just from the previews.
And I think it is safe to say that Ashley lacks self confidence.

Ben C. for the flash mob.
I was hoping it was Ryan.

Oh that's right...Ben C. said that he wanted the next dance date!
'No one's watching us'....except everyone with cameras.
Before music started....cheesy.
After music started....serious chills.
Ben C. I heart you!
You just need to slow down a bit when talking.
Although this is a bit of speed dating huh?!

And the mask man music starts!
Life changing experience...really? You've just been standing around all alone.
Take it off! Take it off! Take if off!
Ya....that was so anti-climatic.
He's not bad looking...but still weird.
Oh no...and now he is a comedian.

Make fun of each other....this is going to be good!
F.Y.I. the backstreet boys outfit isn't going to be funny.
And Ding Dong aka William....you aren't impressing me much anymore.

Oh ya...William you killed it.
Killed your chances.
And, you're not funny.

Bentley you make me sick.
I can't believe that Ashley doesn't see it written all over his face.
Bentley was the one that wasn't excited.
Oh I don't even know what to write.
He is just appalling.

FYI Bachelor...no roast ever again.
William why aren't you telling her that it was a joke.
It wasn't how you felt.
I think she would get that it wasn't what you really felt.
Instead you are running away.
She wants you to put your arms around her and say sorry.

What a bad episode and I have a feeling it's only gonna get worse.
The only person that can comfort her is going to be William.
And....Ryan comes in a saves the night.
Now, William might not have a chance.

Should I just fast forward through the Bentley one on one time?
What is wrong with this man that he is out to mess with a girl's mind.
Oh she called you on the carpet and you can't even talk your way out of it.
Ashley is SO blind.
He is such a douche bag. Can a guy be a douche bag?
Wipe that smirk off your face. It's gross.

HaHa Bentley....you thought it was going to be you.
You lost. Ryan won!

And, Ashley hunny, you think you have self confidence issues now....wait until you see all this air. You're going to need some counseling because of douche bag. I'd charge the Bachelor for those services.

Bentley...you aren't good looking. You aren't funny and your hair is gross.
Ummm...ya...playing everyone has already been done.
The Country singer beat you to it!

You are such a jerk on camera....why don't you have the same guts with Ashley.
Why use your daughter as an out if you are trying to really play everyone.
Oh Ashley...HE'S NOT WORTH IT.
Ashley...he's at week two...just like your texts said.
This is sickening what he is doing.
He is mentally ill.

This is borderline abuse...allowed by the producers.
Makes me sick.
Make him leave.

I hope the producers just show her the video so she can move on.
I won't be able to handle the Bentley references through the whole season.
Ding Dong needs to come in and save the day....please!

I don't usually watch Jimmy Kimmel...but I'm recording that episode.

J.P. is so sweet. And I love a man with short short hair!
Please producers...put her out of her misery so she can move on.
Chris Harrison....do the right thing.
Spill the beans.

Mask Man...it's a little too late to start a friendship.
You shouldn't have hid behind the mask for so long.

Ding Dong...step up to the plate. Fight like you want her.
Tell her. Speak up. William...just tell her sorry.
Out in the open...bear your soul to her in front of everyone....
it will make you real...and she will love it.

Ben F. was a surprise with the rose. What's with these long haired guys that she has hardly spent any time with? Ames looks like he is in some sort of uniform. Not cool at a rose ceremony. If you want a rose....please wear a jacket.

Just got chills again.
Yay for Ding Dong!!

the bathroom scene was really weird.
like REALLY.
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  1. Oh, I was waiting for your recap, just disgusting that Bentley guy!! I did a post on my blog about this today, it is a bit harsh.

    In summary, Bentley is garbage and Ashley needs to get some brains.. Can't wait for next week though, you know I'm gonna watch it!

  2. I don't watch it but I LOVE your recaps - they are hilarious! Thanks for the Tuesday afternoon laughs my friend :)

    PS - My girlies love their new hair accessories!

  3. the whole Bentley thing. Such a mess. Loved reading Chris Harrison's perspective on his blog posts this and last week.

    As for William. BOTH of them were so self-focused. She wanted "comfort" and he was so down on himself. I just wish he had said, "I am sorry." He did when he got the rose but it should have been earlier.

    We have a culture where men are berrated and beatedn up and humiliated on TV. Sure, he was an idiot in the roast. But apologize and move on. Learn and don't repeat.

    Ashley, relationships are not about self.

    OK, I'm a little riled up now.

    Again, I did NOT want to get hooked on this season!

    Love your recaps. It is like you are in the LR with us. Last night I watched with a house of girls. HILARIOUS and great relationship talk illustrations for this girl who works with college students.

    On a final note. I don't know the story of Bentley and his ex but if there's a custody battle, she just won. I so hope he never ever treats another woman like that. And I so hope his daughter never experiences a "man" who acts like that. Utterly ridiculous. It is a stretch to call him a "man" even if it was all acting, it was WRONG.

    OK, done. :-)

  4. OK cannot even comment on Bentley, I think you covered it pretty well. As for Assley,i am just not feeling her...at all! Seriously, your crying? YOur Heartbroken? Really? you have known this guy for two weeks and you were not exclusive. Really? he was the one?

  5. oops! another classic typo from Lisa this week. First it was Hamcock rather than hamhock on facebook and now Ashley is Assley, oops! However, after last night's show, she proably feels like one!

  6. so glad you posted this. i think i'm still trying to digest that episode.
    really, bentley??
    really, take of the mask!!!
    reaaaalllly, william??
    i said that 'really' alot last night.
    william is so cute though!
    and i may have a little crush on JP.
    love, lindsay

  7. I have no idea why the producers wouldn't just show Ashley the tapes...makes me crazy sick and just sad for her! Also, in what world is a roast ever a good idea? so annoying! And I totally think Ames is weird!

  8. My friend knows Bentley and he was embarrassed that she even asked about the show but- but he explained himself pretty well- his ex-wife is michelle money's best friend and apparently they didn't have such a great divorce so obviously michelle doesn't like him- also- one quote he said about 'ashley' was really about britney spears the producers asked his thoughts on britney spears and then edited i to make him say rude things about ashley. Also- he asked to be taken off the show because he was irritated that the producers would try to make him out like such a rude person. It is interesting to see other peoples views.

  9. Oh my gosh, Bentley is SO gross!! It made me sad for her, but even more sad for his daughter who will eventually see the episode. Blech.

    JP and Ryan P are my favorites so far!!

  10. love your recaps! So glad I just read this... i almost missed the Jimmy Kimmel episode! just sent it to tape on the DVR!

  11. What is up with all the Utah contestants being total crazies?! Seriously! Represent better people!

    bently=total douche bag!

  12. Agreed...on every single item of business. :) Bentley is horrid. He spent so much time in front of the mirror while masky was on the toilet, you'd think his hair would look better.

    LOVE Ben C. I have from the first night. He totally talks too fast though...and he sounds just like Patrick Dempsey if you close your eyes. :)

    Can't wait to see what next week brings. William better do some serious sweet talking.

  13. We think Ames looks like a fish. His eyes are REALLY far apart! This is how we watch with our friends...pausing and ripping people apart. Don't tell my parents. It's FAR from kind. :(

  14. I LOVE your recaps-so much fun!!!! I am sooo glad Bentley is gone. As far as how they "edited" him, sure I'm sure everyone has interesting editing, but somethings are just as they would seem.

  15. i seriously look forward to this every week! :)

  16. I just watched the episode online, and I'm sooooo frustrated right now! I just don't see how a man can be a good father if he USES his daughter to break a woman's heart! He made her feel SELFISH for not wanting him to leave! There are just so many things wrong with Bentley. How can you think it's smart to portray yourself like that. Forget the editing, ANY of those sentences he uttered are enough to label him as a complete jerk.

    And Ding Dong. What a cowardly move, running away after the roast! Like Chris Harrison said, a real man would do anything for the woman he wants. He should simply have said, "I don't know what to say but sorry, and I want another chance with you," instead of, "I can't do anything but pack up and leave; go talk to someone else." He gave up!

    Argh, seriously, sometimes this show just ruins my faith in the human race. And then come people like J.P. He was so cute and sweet, hopefully with guys like him Ashley can perk up and move on.

    (Sorry, harsh words, I just get really frustrated with this kind of thing)


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