Dear Dave + April....A Tuesday Series.

{ If you are new here to our series....all our letters can be found on the sidebar. In December 2010 we were falling apart as a couple. We decided to do something about it and our series began!}

Dear April, Someone asked if we used a book to help guide us through this thing called marriage and it reminded me of the book I gave you for Christmas "Happiness For Two" by Alexandra Stoddard that was still in MY dresser drawer. So I pulled it out and thumbed through the chapters and the one that stuck out is titled "Talk Up, Not Down" and I thought, 'what a novel idea.' I did not pick this topic for you, it is really for me. It is much easier for me to see the glass half empty or to find fault in any situation and I find it difficult to find the good....all of the time. In the book it explains, "There are two types of talking up. First you express the opposite of anything condescending. You try hard to express to others a feeling that they are in any way inferior. Second, when you aim to talk up you speak kindly and positively." I really thought about what simple words can do. Positive words can help people grow and succeed and negative words only tear you down and do damage.

So this week I think we should work on talking each other up, not in a patronizing way but in a sincere positive way. Next week I will start my motivational speaking tour....haha! Love, Dave

* * * * * Dear Dave, I love this idea! I really feel that we are settling in {in a good way} but I don't want to stop working and growing in our relationship just because we are comfortable now. I don't like the idea of being comfortable. I love the idea of picking topics in the book each week. Next week is my turn. I also really want to extend the idea of 'talking up' not only in our marriage, but with our children also. Imagine what that could do for our whole family?! I'm excited and I love that this is still so important to you too.

Also, one more thing, I'm sorry that you feel 10th after I return from a conference and I have to talk your ear off about all the amazing, crazy fun I had and don't give you any time to tell me what's been going on in your life while I was gone. I'll try to be better about that next time. But hey...we passed another test. I came home and we went to bed happy, not in an exhausted fight over nothing and everything. True progress baby!! Love, Ape

Kind words cost nothing and can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless. Mother Teresa

love, dave + april


  1. Hi there April..just thought I would say hi...i have just discovered your blog and love it...i read a few posts, and could really relate to one you wrote called fragile...i use that word often, i am a mum to 6 , and we certainly have our share of tricky times, i too have a son who has an invisable disability...life can be very tough, my little guy has nearly lost his life 30 times, and come close to it around 40 more, he is fragile, but doesn'tlook it and we know in our household that life is so fragile...it is one of my favourite words in regards to people...not things, as you can imagine with 6 kidlets fragile things don't last long in our household!!!lol...take care...xxx

  2. you guys are so sweet. just saying.

  3. You guys get me every week. Just so you know this series is my favorite thing to read!

  4. Awesome...talking up! I may have to get that book to actually read the whole chapter! :)



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