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Sweet Lisa Leonard sat on the bed in our hotel room one night at Blissdom. She was talking about her day and casually mentioned that she was fragile that day. She then started sharing some situations that were a bit more difficult because she was fragile.
FRAGILE. I love that word. I can't stop thinking about that word and how it relates to people, not just items. It describes so perfectly sometimes our state of mind and our hearts. Some days are bad, some days are good, some are sad, some are happy but some days we are just fragile.
I remember when we first found out that Blake would be born with Spina Bifida, I would close my eyes and picture a little blue-eyed boy with glasses, leg braces and arm crutches playing in our court with the neighborhood kids. For some reason that picture in my head comforted me. He got the blue eyes, but doesn't wear glasses and doesn't need braces or crutches at this time to walk and run. It's interesting I only imagined the physical attributes of a special needs child. Never did I close my eyes and picture the fragile state my heart and mind would be in. Maybe because at the time everyone was telling me that "God only gives people challenges that they can handle."
That night in our hotel room when Lisa said that she was feeling 'fragile' my instinct was to jump up and give her a tight hug but I had just met her, so instead, I sat and listened and was thankful in my heart for her teaching me a new, beautiful word.
Oh April!! I am right there with you as I love this new word. I plan to use it and think of you! I often turn to you and your experiences with a special needs child because much of it hits home. I read an awesome book last week that you may enjoy. It is called "The Uses of Adversity" by Carlfred Broderick. It is a small book that publishes an address he gave a BYU Women's Conference several years back. The address can be found here - http://rusch.files.wordpress.com/2006/09/the-uses-of-adversity.pdf
ReplyDeleteCheck it out and know that I think of you often for strength!!
xoxo - Kami
oh april, you're so sweet! if you had jumped up and hugged me i probably would have burst into tears. some days are fragile, other days i feel stronger. most days i feel grateful. love to you!
ReplyDeleteI'd say my day-to-day ratio looks a lot like yours too! Love those strong days, cherish the grateful days.
ReplyDeleteThat's a great adjective to describe a way I sometimes feel, and imagine others feel, too. I've had many, many fragile days in the past, raising preemie twins and a tot who were a mere 20 months apart.
ReplyDeleteWow, girl...great timing(you already know what I mean). I feel the most fragile when things are out of my control. And yet I think I need to be reminded that so little is in my control.What happens is not up to me. Whats up to me is how I deal with those things and how I learn & grow from them.
ReplyDeleteXO,
Sarah
Ironically I'm most fragile when my children (adults even!) are having difficulties. It's like I can handle what happens to me. It's way tougher for me when it's happening to my children. If I even hear an edge to their voice (or writings) it makes me very fragile until I know things have evened out a bit for them.
ReplyDeleteoh april, what a truly lovely post. and like you...i too think the word fragile is a perfect word for how we sometimes feel...and lisa is such a beautiful woman too. i have never met her or you but oh my, how lovely!! you both have my heart, i can tell you that!
ReplyDeletemuch love,
melody
Beautifully said. I think I just might start using that word once in awhile... there are definitely days when it perfectly describes what there just are no other words to say.
ReplyDeletethis is a super sweet post. i remember walking around the grocery store (trying to keep functioning) the weeks after finding out my husband had an affair. i was like a piece of paper thin glass. fragile is the perfect word.
ReplyDeleteand now i try to remain super sensitive when i'm out and about. when people are mean, or rude, or sad, i think it could be because their heart is broken or they're walking through something rough. changed my perspective forever.
i have days that i am fragile as well. who knows what the trigger is...stress...horomones....just life. we can all be fragile and that's why we need to lift each other up. encourage. love one another always at every opportunity. you never know when you may be encountering someone in their {fragile} state and you get the privilege of handling them with care!
ReplyDeletelove this post april!
I first heard "fragile" used in regard to a little boy. My best friend's son would have fragile moments. He still does. He's a big-hearted child.
ReplyDeleteI adopted that word for myself. I have lots of 'fragile' moments or even days.
It can be cyclical.
It can be a lonely day.
Often times it is a perspective issue where I don't see myself as God sees me. I'm self-focused on all the crap and not believing that I'm a child of the King!
There are just times where I'm more sensitive and I don't think it is a bad thing. There are just seasons of fragility.
I first heard "fragile" used in regard to a little boy. My best friend's son would have fragile moments. He still does. He's a big-hearted child.
ReplyDeleteI adopted that word for myself. I have lots of 'fragile' moments or even days.
It can be cyclical.
It can be a lonely day.
Often times it is a perspective issue where I don't see myself as God sees me. I'm self-focused on all the crap and not believing that I'm a child of the King!
There are just times where I'm more sensitive and I don't think it is a bad thing. There are just seasons of fragility.
The soundtrack in my mind was playing "Breakable" by Ingrid Michaelson and "Fragile" by Sting as I read this.
ReplyDeleteI also had the thought that we can be amazingly strong at the same time we are feeling vulnerable. Sometimes we muster the most (or reach for help best) when we are in a state of fragility.
I found your blog through the Nester giveaway and then somehow wandered over to the raising a special boy posts. I'm so fragile right now!
ReplyDeleteWe are in the process of adopting two special needs siblings (2yr and 3yr old) right now and I'm just worn so thin. I love that phrase and will be using it at the house TONIGHT!
I don't know how I missed this post... but I did, and now I LOVE it!!!
ReplyDeleteJust thought I would say so... and continue on the search for the post I want :)