Dear Dave + April....A Tuesday Series.

...A Tuesday Series Working on Enriching Marriage

Dear David My Love,

It makes me so happy that we are settling into 'everyday happy' and it is coming easier. I don't feel so guarded anymore. Our bad habits are really on there way out the door. I'm not saying that there won't be bad days, but I love that the effort is there now by nature...not by trying. In our marriage class this last week, I loved talking about each of us giving 100% instead of each partner giving just 50% to make up 100%. If we both give 100% there is no way we can fail. I can't even begin to tell you the things of my heart that I have learned from you during these last few months. I was more stubborn that I thought I was and you are not as stubborn as I thought you were. You give in easier for the sake of love. You set aside your pride. You really try to give it your best. To jump in and help with disciplining the children. Giving me the break that I need some evenings.

I love that we set a goal for 'us' time last week and made it a priority again. I loved sitting next to you, carrying on separate conversations with friends at dinner, but as I reached over to set my hand on your knee, you grabbed it and we were connected knowing that we were thinking of each other even though we weren't giving each other our attention at that time. There is a test I would like you to take before you write me back. It's called The Five Love Languages found here. I did it a couple of months ago. I knew what my results were going to be before I even took it. And, I'm pretty sure I know what you are going to 'be' or 'need' too before you take it...but I still want you to take it. Then I want to challenge us to make sure that we give each other the love language that each of us needs each day. My love language is 'Acts of Service.' Here is what that means.....'Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an "Acts of Service" person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: 'Let me do that for you.' Broken commitments, not following through and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don't matter."

This is so true for me. Usually when I ask for help, I need it right away. Not later, not forgotten, or done tomorrow. It makes me feel like we are a team. That you love me. I know that this will create a bigger burden for your physical activity during the day, but I can't change my love language. I have a pretty good idea what your love language is too and it is something that does not come super easy for me either. I want to promise each other this week that we will give each others Love Language a try this week and see how it makes us feel. I hope it makes us feel more loved, instead of just knowing that we are loved! I'm looking forward to you taking the little quiz.

Love, April

* * * * *

Super Ape,

I took your love language assessment and it came out the exact way I thought it would. I am a more physical person as far as touching and needing a hug when I walk in the door. And for the record I can be stubborn and hard to back down. I pick my battles, meaning the ones I can win! Most of the time I let you feel like you won but secretly I know I had it in the bag. I'm just kidding.

I have really enjoyed the last couple of weeks just getting to know my Ape again. The "dates" to the grocery store or to Target have been awesome. It helps that the kids are old enough to stay at home by themselves. It doesn't really matter where we go together just that we are together. I think that it is almost time for a get away, just you and I. I'm not sure how we will make it happen or if it will but I think that it is a great goal to work toward.

I want you to know I think of you often during the day. Hopefully one of these days we won't have to work so many hours and will have tons of time to just hang out together. Can you say SUPER LOTTO! The possibilities! I guess we would need to play it though. I'm just so thankful that I am married to a motivated person and not a couch potato. That's my language I hope you can understand it.

Love, Dave

What we are working on this week: Our Love Languages. I need Acts of Service and Dave needs Physical Touch. We are going to make these a priority this week. They are hard for us. Dave walks in exhausted and has a lot on his plate, and I hate to be stopped from doing something for a hug. Although I think I could get used to it! And, I have to agree with Dave...I think it's time for a little get away for the two of us.

What are you working on in your relationship right now? Have you taken the Love Language Assessment yet? What are your 'love languages'?

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  1. aw april! this is awesome. isn't it great to be a {team} with the hubs:) it's so sweet the way you guys are connecting and re-connecting!

    thanks for being so transparent!

  2. Oh...I so love that you shared this with all of us! We took this class in Sunday School years ago. I am certain that my love language has changed. Is that possible?
    I would like for us to do this test again.
    It seems like you both are moving closer and closer to each other and the relationship that you really desire. I really appreciate your openness and have taken so much away from your post today! Thank you!

  3. this is so sweet! marriage is hard,huh? ha....we knew nothing when we said I DO!

  4. The 5 Love Languages is one of my all-time favorite reads! It literally changed our marriage when we first read it together even though we werent in a "bad place" or anything. It just really opens your eyes!
    And yes, Im definitely one to believe that your love language can change. Mine used to be all about gifts and although I still love them, my secondary has changed to acts of service over the years. We're always changing as people so our love languages can change as well.
    Hope you had a good Valentines Day. Im getting ready to do my giveaway post with your earrings:)

  5. I think it is so awesome that you guys are making time to work on your relationship! It's true what they say, it's like a garden and if you don't tend to it, it will die.

    I'm definitely going to have to do the language of love test with my hubby!

  6. I'm an Acts of Service gal and Grayson is a Physical Touch guy, so we have to work hard to make each other happy. :)

  7. This is such a neat post. My SIL and I went to a mom's retreat a few months back and learned all about the 5 love languages. I went home and had to assess my kids (as best as I could for their ages) and it has made a huge difference in how effective I am as a parent and their response to me. AMAZING. And yes, I also had my hubby take the test. We are both more conscious of one another's needs.

    p.s. I bought my SIL some of your jewelry while at the Queen Bee in SD. She LOVES it!! Thank you.

  8. This is aweseome. I love that you are doing this on your blog....thanks for your vulernabilty. We havent read Love Languages since we first got married, I want to read it again b/c I think mine have changed since having kids!

  9. This post made me cry too. Especially the part where you admit to being more stubborn than you thought. I'm pretty sure I'm the same way. Why is it that we are so quick to judge the others when we really should be taking a closer look at ourselves.

    Thank you both for this series. I adore it.


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