Dear Dave + April....A Tuesday Series.

Dear Dave,

I heard a song this week on the radio and one line stood out to me....'Promise me you'll always be happy by my side, I promise to sing to you when all the music dies.' It's that second part that got me thinking 'I promise to sing to you when all the music dies.' These past few weeks have been sort of a newlywed period again for us. The first couple of weeks it was like we were first married again. New feelings of renewed respect, attention, walking hand in hand, butterflies in my tummy, lots of gentle touches and unexpected hugs. Then this last week or so life returned back to normal...busy schedules, stressful situations, kids fighting, mommy's grouchy, daddy's grouchy...like we had been married for years. Well, I mean, we have...been married for years. We are settling into real life again, but with more respect for each other, more hugs, taking an interest in each others hobbies and taking time to spend more quality time together. It's like the newlywed period has worn off, the music has died, but we are still singing to each other. Still remembering what is important to keep each other 'happy by my side'. They say that a good habit takes seven weeks to develop. I think we are well on our way.

I especially liked that this past weekend, when I was grouchy and bit off your head because you interrupted me and I abruptly said, 'I wasn't talking to you,' and then realized that I was wrong and turned to you to sincerely apologize, that you accepted my apology and we moved on. We didn't let it turn into anything more. We didn't re-hash it for hours. We weren't short or curt with each other. We moved on. Lovingly. Knowing a mistake had been made but an apology offered and accepted. I am realizing more and more how wrong I have been in not admitting my faults and not saying sincerely 'I'm sorry' as much as I should have been. I think we are figuring out how to keep singing to each other when the music dies. I'm proud of us!

Love, Ape

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Dear April,

I really like your letter this week. I am glad that you can realize that sometimes it's not totally my fault when things go haywire. Sometimes I feel that you think that you are always right. The Mom is always right but as a partner there needs to be give and take. Thanks for the "give and take". We work well together and I think we have proven to each other that we can still have fun and love each other. We have to remember not to dwell on the little quirks or mistake that we make.

I love that you finally listened to the words in a song. I like the huge change that has started in our relationship and I'm excited to keep the momentum. I have noticed a change in the way our kids talk also and take care of each other. Things are not always perfect but that keeps life interesting. Now...is it Wednesday yet? You know, Wednesday is the new Friday.

Love, Dave

What we have been working on this past week:

1.) New rule in our home. No internet for mommy or daddy between the hours of 5 pm - 9 pm. The most important time of our day. The time we are together as a family. Time for dinner to be prepared, homework to be finished up, reading time, family scripture and prayer time, time to focus on each other and our children. It is working. There have been some 'exceptions' for work related stuff, but no surfing, blog hopping, twitter. Our evenings have been smoother, quieter and nicer.

2) Kids bedtime is 8:30 or at least in their room by 8:30. This has given us more time in the evening to hang out. More us time.

3) Rule Number Three in communication. Start conversations with 'I feel' instead of an attack that starts with 'You are'. You can't argue the way someone feels. That is their feelings and we are trying to address and be more sensitive to how we make each other feel.

We worked hard on a project together last week inspired by this series. It is for our master bedroom. We can't wait to share it with you this week when we reveal our master bedroom mini makeover on Thursday!

Also...if you missed my exciting shop announcement yesterday evening....you can find it here.

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  1. I found your blog through another one I read. Your Dave and April is fantastic. WHat you write to your husband sounds like it is coming from my mouth. My husband abd I are in an odd place in our marriage and we are trying very hard to get back to "us". There is a lot more involved with how things got so scrambled. Marriage is a lot of work. But I am learning with faith and love for each other, anything can be mended. I don't usually comment on the blogs I read, however I felt like I needed to let you know how much your Tuesday Series means to me at this point in my marriage. I look forward to many more! God Bless!

  2. no internet between 5 and 9 is such an excellent idea! so easy to do and so perfect for family life...great new rule, and one that i think i might try to implement in my home!

  3. april, can i move where you are and be your bf?!

    thank you for being genuine.

    my husband and i are in a good place in our marriage, now (emphasis on "now"). we've always loved each other, but the liking each other is increasing every day because of grace (one of us is finally learning to live in it, and give it...me).

    growing more and more in love with him means more to me than anything i could gain from this earthly life.

    may God continue to cause you and your husband to live in His immeasurable love *together,* that love already lavished on you in Christ Jesus. may that love continue to overflow, and spill our on your children (and all the generations to come). Amen!

  4. April, I continue to love this series, although I have to say it makes me feel a little like a voyeur ... which makes me feel weird! But I admire your bravery in posting your innermost thoughts as a partner. :)

  5. April-
    I LOVE your honesty! Thank you. I have found that I need to apologize more for my attitudes/words/thoughts even...and when I do things smooth over and when I don't, they go downhill quickly!!!! I appreciate that your honesty lets me know I am human!

    Blessings to you!


  6. Can't help but leave some Marriage Encounter tidbits on these posts. We were taught to read our love letters twice before responding. Once for your head and once for your heart. The first time you read something you read it for information. The second time you read if for feeling. Treasure these love letters. Someday only one of you will hold them. (also from ME)

    Love, Mom

  7. This series of letters between you and Dave continues to be the most inspiring space on the web. It's real. It's honest. And it's helpful! I love the no electronics between 5-9. That is a great idea!

    So proud of you both!


I heart comments! Just one rule that I'm sure your momma taught you...if you don't have anything nice to say...please don't say anything at all!

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