I have one final question before my bride gets home tomorrow. She asked "as a father, how does it feel to have a child with special needs"? Well I'm not sure where to start. In my former life I was absolutely sure I would not have any kids because of the fear they might be disabled. Fast forward 1o years and bingo, kid #2 is on the way. Two weeks before he was born we found out something was wrong. My greatest fear of all time had just crashed head on into our lives. Now what? I can't just run away or give up, so we have a crash course on Spina Bifida. I was scared and so was Ape. Those are just some the facts, but she wants to know about my feelings. For a guy there is no tougher question than asking us about feelings. I would love to tell you that it has only made me stronger as a person, I rose to the challenge, and grabbed the bull by the horns. Sure those things are true because I had to do it but some days I'm frustrated. I don't want to cath or change any more diapers for a 7 year old. I would like to head out on a Saturday and not have to pack the bag with cathing supplies, or worry if Blake can keep up. Yep that's it boo hoo. If I focused on those thing and some others it would drive me insane. So HOW DO I FEEL? I feel love, love for Blake and his challenges. I feel humble when he teaches me little things about life. I feel sadness sometimes because I know he will never be the athlete he is in his mind. Not for lack of trying or determination but some things just do not work in his body.
Blake is different and that is great. We spend our whole lives trying to set ourselves apart from one another, to be different and interesting. He's got it made in that aspect. His personality is awesome. He told me the other day that he really likes to visit Uncle Jason and talk with him even in his advanced stage of cancer. I think he feels great empathy towards Jason because there are some things wrong with his body also and Blake prays that Jason will feel better. That shows a huge heart and understanding for a 7 year old and that is when I feel humbled.
So tonight my mini wing man and I hit the town. Toy Story Three was on his agenda for the last week. So we went, the place was packed, and my wing man looked cool in his 3-D glasses. We had a great time. After the movie we chatted on the way home about the women in our lives(Ape and Kaia) just as good friends would. So strangely enough the things that I have already wrote about are normal to me and I feel very fortunate to have Blake in my life. I am stoked that I didn't miss the opportunity to have a child with special needs.
On a lighter note in an effort to empty my garage I'm going to give away something from Funky Vintage Kitchen. I really need my man space back to hang with my wing man. So please help me give away some cool stuff and clean up my garage. Leave any comment and I will have Ape help me organize and announce the winner to the give away on Tuesday the 22nd. Have a great weekend.