I fibbed a little to my children. Well, not really. I was completely fed up and really did feel the way I told them I did....but it was still probably wrong. Here is what happened.
Blake has been throwing good-bye fits again in the mornings at school. Go figure. Only 3 more weeks left and he is kicking and screaming and grabbing my leg. He has been for two weeks now. So frustrating.
Kaia argues everything right now. Ever.Y.Thing. I know it is the age, but I will not stand for it. Won't allow it. I even asked my mom how to handle it. She told me to answer her once and then stop talking. Don't answer her again or even address the argument. That is so hard but I am doing it and it is working.
Well after a terrible week of fits and arguing I decided that no more babies it would be. It was a weak moment and I told the children.
I sat them down and I told them that we decided not to have another baby. This caught Dave by surprise. Oops I forgot to fill him in. But he was supportive. I think he figured out my agenda pretty quickly. He was fed up too....at least with Kaia's mouth. I told them that I just didn't feel like I had the energy to have a baby right now. Kaia instantly got visibly upset and asked why. I told her that between Blake still throwing fits and her arguing or ignoring every request from us that it just didn't feel right to add another baby. And, here is exactly - word for word - what came out of Kaia's mouth next.
Kaia - (pointing to me) "You are going to regret this decision. That is so not fair. You are going to regret this. After you turn 30 you only have 30% of your eggs left. You are almost 40. You are going to regret it. I just learned about that at school today." And then turned to Dave and even meaner told him he would regret this decision too.
I tried really hard not to burst out laughing. It was so random....the percentage of eggs left in my body! I didn't expect her to get this upset. I was just hoping to get them to own up to more responsibility.
We talked about how I feel like I haven't done a good job raising them when everything is a fight, fit or argument. (Which is the truth....parenthood makes you question everything.) That it makes me scared to think about raising another baby if I was having trouble with the two I already have spent so much time trying to raise right.
I felt guilty putting that little bit of guilt on them. But guess what.....Kaia has been a dream this last week. Hardly any argument and she is so much help around the house. She promised if I just got pregnant that then she would change. I told her that wasn't how it worked. She really wants another sibling. Blake on the other hand would be perfectly content with being the baby of the family. He threw a fit at school again just yesterday.
Kaia spent the rest of that evening bawling her eyes out. She said she just needed a good cry. I remember those days. Still have them every once in awhile. She has experienced some tough times with girlfriends at school recently and while she cried I held her and told her that she was way tougher than I was when I was her age regarding girlfriend drama. Then she cried about Uncle Jason and we talked about that. And then she cried that she felt so much pressure that she has to change who she is if we don't like anything about her right now. I assured her that she had many great qualities....even rattled off a whole list of great qualities, but that the couple of tough ones where just taking away from the feel good ones right now. She finished crying and I got her some water and kissed her goodnight.
And then Dave and I decided we would keep trying for a baby. Kaia did have a pretty good argument there!