39.

39 Things about my 39th Birthday Weekend.....

1. Woke up to streamers from the 'birthday fairy' on my door. A family tradition.

2. Bagels and smoothies for breakfast! Great idea, Blake.

3. Fabulous finds at the San Francisco yard sale. Think pretty yellow table and a whole spool of red/white bakers twine plus a few more pretties. Pictures tomorrow.

4. Dave and I fought the whole way to San Francisco. {I always promise to keep it real.} Which then made me cry....because it was my birthday.

5. Went to a thrift shop while we were in San Francisco {barely speaking to each other....and me still crying}, but I found a pair of one of my favorite brands of denim bermuda shorts in my size for $4.

6. Next on our agenda {and even though we were fighting, we stuck to the agenda} was Ikea! We both love Ikea....and after I cried all through my meatball and mashed potato lunch we started talking a little and found the perfect TV unit/bookcase set to fit in our small house.

7. We were only fighting because Dave was completely exhausted from 14 hour work days Thursday and Friday....and me being a girl, had overly high expectations about how my birthday day should go!

8. Laughed outside Ikea when we had to unload and reload all our 'finds' in the car to make everything fit. Still love my car!! It all fit.

9. Started talking again.....

10. Hit Sonic on the way home for a Cherry Limeaid and some tots!

11. Got home and unloaded all our 'finds' and I found the perfect spot for my new pretty yellow table.

12. Got dressed and ready for our surprise evening.

13. Had to leave the house by 6:00 pm.

14. Was let in on 'dinner reservations are at 6:45pm.'

15. I was secretly hoping for The Melting Pot, a complete three course fondue dinner experience. Oh the cheese fondue, my mouth was already watering.

16. That thought was quickly interrupted with what happens when us women have an expectation....so then thought what I might order if they were taking me to the Cheesecake Factory.

17. Took the Larkspur exit.....YAY confirmed we were going to The Melting Pot.

18. Ohhhh'd and ahhhhh'd over the cheese fondue. Both kids loved it. I was in heaven. The fighting in the morning didn't matter anymore.

19. All through dinner loved the idea that Dave had actually planned ahead and made reservations!

20. Left restaurant at 9:00 pm. Whole family tired. Dave and I picked up our fight right where we left it off earlier in the day with just one random comment.

21. Cried the whole way home.

22. Didn't open presents, because Blake was asleep (thank goodness, because frankly I wasn't in the mood)!

23. Went to bed with mixed emotions....still not talking.

24. Decided that the day could have gone better but I was very pleased with parts of it.

25. Woke up on Sunday for church and decided I was not Dave's mother so there was no need for me to get him out of bed.

26. The kids and I left for church and Dave met us there late.

27. Came home from church and Dave and I locked ourselves in our bedroom.

28. And, we talked.

29. Heart to heart.

30. A little about the actual fight.

31. But decided that the areas in our marriage that we really need to work on would be better fixed in a different way.

32. And, I'm not going to make it to number 39....but this is really the most important part anyway, and was the perfect ending to a not so perfect birthday weekend.......

Instead of us nagging each other about things that bug us, things we want fixed, things that hurt us {all of which just put us in defensive mode and starts another fight}, we both agreed that instead of trying to fix each other, we needed to work on making ourselves the BEST we can be for each other. We both agreed that we were doing the bare minimum in areas of personal spirituality and showing respect to one another which lead to short tempers, hurt feelings and not the example we were wanting to set for our children.

I promised to do more on my own (consistent personal prayers, consistent scripture study, more selfless service to my family, hold my criticism) and Dave promised the same and we knew that was going to be the key to finding peace and joy in our home and pure love in our marriage. Not trying to fix each other through criticism and unkind words.

And we both agreed on one new rule for our family. Think before you speak and speak positively.

We had a wonderful evening. And our guards were down. And we trusted each other with our feelings and knew we were each committed to doing what we needed to do to make ourselves the BEST we could be for each other.

And that is the best birthday gift you can give and receive!