People Keep Asking Me....

.....how I'm doing emotionally, physically, mentally? I'm happy to report...A.O.K! Thank you for your concern.

Emotionally......Once the hormones settled down, so did my emotions. Thank goodness. I tend to lean towards the happy positive side and the incessant crying wasn't my style. Dave didn't like it either. Don't get me wrong, I am still sad at times that I'm not still pregnant, carrying the little bundle of joy we were so anticipating. Kaia pulled out the little hat I had knitted. We had been keeping it in our car {over the 4 wheel drive stick shift...it made us smile every time we got into the car}. When I miscarried, I threw it into the glove box. Kaia pulled it out from the glove box and said, "Mommy, next time you are pregnant....don't tell us....just put the hat back on the stick shift and see how long it takes us to see it!" I think that is a grand idea. I wondered how we would break the good news again the second time around. The video is still a little painful to watch. Actually, I don't watch it. But back to cars, I am especially sad when I get into my car and look down at the larger than life muffin top around my middle and wish that it was rock hard and not just a roll of fat! Infant seats, babies and pregnant woman don't make me cry either anymore. And, that's a good thing because a lot of my friends around me are becoming pregnant. Just for the record....I would have been the oldest of them all.....therefore the craziest of them all.

Physically.....feeling pretty much back to normal. Can't tell where my uterus is anymore. Thank goodness. That was a strange feeling. Just packing the extra weight and my doctor has advised no exercising until I am pregnant again since I tend to stop ovulating when I exercise. Big bummer. Although, honestly, I haven't had a great desire to exercise at all which bothers me a little. Actually scares me a little. I have always cared to keep myself a healthy size 8-10. But oh well. We will see how things go the next couple of months. If I don't show up pregnant, I'm going to have to start exercising or I will be buying a whole new wardrobe!

Mentally.....I can't tell you what week I would have been. I think that is a good thing. I'm not dwelling on the calendar. I feared that. I am a wish-washy mess though with making decisions. I yo-yo back and forth about becoming pregnant again. My mind sounds like this.....

"Two kids is so easy right now, what where we thinking.....but a baby...so sweet."

"I don't want to be pregnant again....the whole morning sickness feeling is still too fresh, not enough time to pass to forget how bad some of those days where....but the ache for a baby....still there....I think."

"Maternity clothes would look so much better on me right now......I really should lose some weight...but why work so hard to get thin again to end up pregnant and bloated again."

Hmmmmm.....I would say that the mental part is probably still my biggest challenge, but with the emotions in check the mental part is much more manageable. So, in a few paragraphs....that's how I'm doing. Thanks for checking in with me and asking! It's better than being dropped like a hot potato after feeling so much care and concern.

I'm off to a clothing swap today. I have my pile ready and it reminded me....I had promised a Blog Sale soon a few months back. I'll work on that. Kaia + I still have lots in our closets that could use a new good home.