Again, you all came to my rescue. You shared personal experiences with me and gave me wonderful advice....here on my blog, on facebook and through private messages and emails. I appreciated each experience and read with real intent. Thank you. I have found peace and called my doctor to schedule a D&C. They are trying to schedule it for Tuesday or Wednesday next week. I will keep you posted.
Throughout the weekend I will hold dear your beautiful messages, keep smelling the flowers dotting my dining room table and I will be eating a whole box of RETRO CANDY delivered to my doorstep this afternoon. Razzles, Fun Dips, Zotz, Boston Baked Beans, Lemon Heads, Button Candy, Gold Nugget bubble gum, Chiclets, Candy Cigarettes....oh it is overflowing and I keep slapping my kids hands away. Actually I gave them the toy top and the wax lips that also came in the box right away. And, don't worry....I will share my least favorites with them. I mean I can be selfish at this time....right?
I am really starting to feel more like myself again and as a family, we are truly finding peace. In fact, I am finding comfort now in comforting those that still are congratulating me on the pregnancy. It feels good to be the strong one right now. Because I know, that that might change on a daily basis.
Praying for you daily! so happy to hear you are getting some peace!
ReplyDeleteapril! it sounds as though you are handling this heartbreaking time in just the right way, and i am proud of you!
ReplyDeleteit took her awhile to be able to find the emotional energy to complete the project, but my friend, rachel, made a lovely memory quilt in honor of a baby she lost two years ago. you can see it here:
http://tinyurl.com/ygm4ytk
working through loss is never easy, but sometimes physical work (in this case, sewing, which we all know you can do beautifully!) helps to acknowledge and process the mental aspect so that you can move forward more easily.
however you, dave, kaia and blake process this, i know it will be with love for each other, and we are all thinking of you!
xoxo,
katherine
April, I am so happy that you are surrounded by the support system that you are. I am very impressed and jealous that you have been so willing and ABLE to share such an intimate part of your life with some of us whom you've never met, and may never meet. Before we got pregnant with OJ, we miscarried and to this day there are still people in my family and friends I consider close to me who have never known. I have a feeling that sharing the joy of pregnancy and the heartbreak of a miscarriage, no matter how early or late in your term, can be a comforting release. I won't know for certain, but from the sounds of your words....it sounds like it's been helpful. And that's all we can really hope for, I think.
ReplyDeleteTake care of yourself, enjoy your retro candy, and take some photos of the wax lip smiles. :) Thinking of you!
*hugs*
ReplyDelete