WATCHING.

I just watched Kaia walk over to her babysitting appointment. I peeked through the shutters in the kitchen and watched her walk all the way up to the front door, knock and go inside. She looked big. Too big to be my Kaia. She was cautious as she walked....a car was pulling into the court. She paused to see what driveway the car was going to pull into and then proceeded when it was safe. I started to cry. When did she get so big? Why was I tearing up as I watched her walk across the street? How do you let go when they go off to college? Will my home feel empty when my two are grown and gone? Why did we only have two?

I want to remember these moments. Moments when I watched my children grow. Watched them learn to share, to play, to make friends, to choose the right, to grow in independence. Watched them walk to their first babysitting appointment while smiling and crying knowing that she will do everything she is supposed to do there tonight.

We talked about her responsibilities while she is there. To feed the children dinner that was going to be provided for them to eat. And then to remember to put leftovers in the fridge and clean up the kitchen. To get the kids to help unload the dishwasher if the dishes were clean so she could load the dirty dishes and leave a clean house. To play with the kids and to make sure each felt included. To help with homework if necessary and to make sure to ask what the house rules where before the adult left. She left her cell phone home. I am proud of her. "No distractions," we talked about.

I wish they could forever stay 12 and 7 years old. Please........