Kaia has been texting non-stop since her birthday. Tonight while our family visited Jason in the hospital, Dave and Kaia exchanged texts. And it didn't stop. By the time we got into the car we were all crying from laughter and Blake was drooling. Dave even pulled over while we were driving to text her. I knew Dave had his own sick vocabulary but I didn't know Kaia could hold her own. Remember this is all in good fun and each time they one up'd each other...we laughed harder. Here it goes.....

Kaia to Dave knowing we were getting ready to leave...."I call shotgun! haha but seriously i call shotgun!!!:

Dave: Stop it butt sniffer

Kaia: You toilet licker!

Dave: Dog pooper scooper licker

Kaia: hey what up hot stuff! just kidding! you grouchy old geezer who drinks ur on pee!

Dave: You sniff dog farts and eat Zoe turds

Kaia: don't bring z-dog into this, crap eater!

Dave: Whatever diarrhea drinker

Kaia: oooo look whos getting fancy words pukey horse fly that sleeps on a david kennedy butt! oh! look who just got burned!

Dave: Hey zit face puke bag puss eater scab licking toad...(then he pulled over in the car to text the next one...only he was laughing so hard he could barely type)

Dave: If I wanted to break you finger I would punch you in the nose.

Kaia: I didn't know you had gross puss coming out of your zots (which zots not zits made us laugh even harder) you crap chewing, sewer bathing flea that lives on a fungus that lives on the biggest rodent!

Dave: Listen up you butt baby you eat the chunky puke from a hobo's barfed up garbage dinner and wash it down with bum pee.

Kaia: at least I don't take the browns to the super bowl six times a day you pole licken' janked up flea that gets ur gum off the pole!

WHATEVER HAPPENED TO OUR 'NO POTTY TALK' RULE?! I felt like I was in the middle of the movies A Christmas Story and The Sandlot. I had no idea this exchange was happening in the hospital room, but we all had stomach cramps by the time we came home. I had no idea they could come up with such gross disgusting things. I mean if it keeps the line of communication open with our pre-teen I'll let them keep going. I do love how sweet their relationship is. I have pushed from day one for Dave to be one of Kaia's best friends and he has done so well that sometimes I feel left out! But it is special and it makes me happy.

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  1. Oh my GOSH, that is HILARIOUS!! I don't know who I should call first when I need my next burn! lol! Are they teaching this at Redwood?? ;)

  2. And to think I was embarrassed when I farted the first time he came to our house!


  3. I do believe I'm speechless.

  4. AHHH HAAAA Bwaahahahahaha!!! I'm crying right now from laughter. Pardon me, but there is something hysterical, for some people, about raunchy humor:) I love the "zot" and the fact that Dave had to pull over because he was laughing so hard!!!!!

  5. Sounds just like Greg and Jamie :) Very funny!

  6. That is awesome. Great to see they have such a father/daughter bond. Too funny.

  7. I was laughing out loud. That was CU-RAZY! Wow. That is seriously impressive. Kaia's last comment takes the cake.

  8. And then I laughed even harder when I scrolled down and saw that photo of her sitting angelically on her bed.


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