I wanted to share a little part of an email I just sent to a friend. She is the same friend that I have shared a previous email here on this blog about potty issues with our special kiddos. Our friends just found out that a complication has presented itself with their daughter with Spina Bifida. It is one that we, as parents, are so aware of. And afraid of. A tethered spinal cord that is causing growth problems. But these complications, as aware of them as we are, still catch us so off guard that it is shocking to us. Here are my feelings of why that happens and what I wrote......
"Why is it that we seem to easily forget that which we worried so much about those first couple of years. I think it is our coping mechanism. I tell people often that Blake might not always walk [because that is what the doctors tell me]. But they are just words coming out of my mouth. Do I really believe them? No. Will I be completely devastated if he ends up using assistance as he gets older? Yes. Will I think "I should have been prepared for this, I have been saying it for years?" You would think 'yes', but that will not be the case. I will still sit in shock and be a complete mess."
It truly is our coping mechanism, but at this point in our lives we use whatever works. I am still working on Dave to do a "Crap Cakes and Eggs" post on what it is like fathering a little boy with special needs.
Keep working on Dave... I want to read that one!
ReplyDeleteI so know what you mean about saying it but not believing it... Nathaniel is back in his wheelchair right now. I cried for hours after the doctor said to put him back in it on Sat! And this whole week has been so many adjustments.... how quickly I forget what it is like to have a kid in a WC....
And tethered sucks too! We have been doing injections for a few years now to relax Nat's tether...