MY HEART SWELLED WITH GLADNESS.....

AND BROKE IN PAIN. But that is what being a mother is all about. Having our hearts run around all about us. Feeling joy as our children feel joy and pain when they feel pained.

And, I wouldn't say that it is worse when one of those children has special needs, because we love each of our children....completely. But it is different. Different because they didn't ask for their challenge. They didn't have a choice as to whether they were going to be strong enough to handle it. To handle their peers. To handle the emotions that come with being "different" from the norm. To handle the lessons they were sent to this earth to teach most of us. They just have to deal with it....to the best of their ability and I am proud to announce that Blake made me smile the other day when he chose a special way to deal with some peer issues.

Blake came home from school and told me that one of the kids from another kindergarten class thought that he saw a diaper on Blake while they were playing on the playground. That boy sent another boy (actually a very naive sweet boy) to go ask Blake if he wore diapers. Blake quickly told them, "No....that is part of my underwear." (....dummy.)

The next morning I had set out Blake's clothes and told him to go get dressed. I walked in and found him having a little bit of hard time pulling up his jeans and getting them snapped. When I knelt down to help him I realized he had taken a pair of his Gap boxers and put them on over his diaper. (We had purchased them some time ago for this very purpose, but he had yet wanted much to do with them.) It makes for a bit of bulk with diaper, boxers and jeans but it was his idea and his solution. My heart swelled. He is starting to figure out how to deal with this challenge all by himself. He is taking care of himself. He is protecting himself. I simply stated, "you put your boxers on...nice job." And he said, "Now when people see my underwear they will think I wear Gap underwear. Make sure they are sticking WAY OUT the top mom." My heart broke. He is NEEDING to take care of himself. Protect himself. Deal with this challenge.

But in the end, I smiled and let the swelling of my heart take over the breaking from the pain and find cheer in his happiness with his solution. If you could have just seen his face. He went to school that day so confident. I have a feeling boxers will be a new staple in his wardrobe....as it should be at his age!

Happy Mother's Day to all my friends. Yes.....I mean you! And for any of you that are struggling with motherhood at this time, remember our loving Heavenly Father did not send us here to be entrusted with these sweet spirits without His help. He is here for us as mothers.....we just need to kneel and ask.

And if you are interested in seeing how sweet my daughter's spirit is.....check out this post on her blog. She makes my heart swell in gladness also. Kaia and Blake make it easy to be grateful to be a mother and I am looking foward to celebrating Motherhood with all the special mommies in my life this weekend, especially my own mom.