One of my old friends got "Mother of the Year" in Utah last week. Here are 10 reasons why I would NEVER get "Mother of the Year"......enjoy!
10. I am known to stop Kaia dead in her tracks by a yank of the ponytail.
9. I use the occasional "Damn you kids".
8. I have looked around the grocery store to make sure no one was looking...then popped my kids in the mouth for talking back.
7. I can ask something so nicely once...then ask again with a growl that would scare a grown man.
6. Reality show, Big Brother, comes before my children when on.
5. One sec...usually means two hours.
4. I am a horrible example of proper time management.
3. I have, on more than one occasion, almost ripped my child's arm off while dragging them down the hall to their bedroom.
2. I have threatened a drop-off to an orphanage.
1. And last of all....my favorite magnet on the fridge says, "Make your own Damn dinner."
Hope you all still love me after reading this post. I am pretty confident that you will or I wouldn't have posted it! So to all us mothers who will never be "Mother of the Year"......CHEERS!
UPDATE: I have done a little "improving" since this post! I do now cook dinners for my family as seen in this post. And I was informed from the Super Nanny that using any force, whether grabbing or squeezing a child's arm, is a form of disrespect so I stopped immediately! Ok...but for real...our home is a pretty happy peaceful place to hang out.
hilarious!
ReplyDeleteI almost pee'd my pants!
ReplyDeleteI can't believe I've been overlooked yet again this year for Mother of the Year.
ReplyDeleteHAHAHAHA your the type of mom I wish to be someday :) haha you crack me up...However i bet even the best moms of the year do the same things behind closed doors!
ReplyDeleteI love you April!!! That was so hysterical! We have been on vacation, but I am now in our hotel room on wireless internet. I love technology!
ReplyDeleteAMEN, SISTER!!
ReplyDeleteThose aren't the qualities looked for to be Mother of the Year??!!
ReplyDeleteThe funny thing is, that I have done almost all of those 10 same things! Now THAT is ironic!
ReplyDelete