Mother of the Year (yeah right!)

One of my old friends got "Mother of the Year" in Utah last week. Here are 10 reasons why I would NEVER get "Mother of the Year"......enjoy!

10. I am known to stop Kaia dead in her tracks by a yank of the ponytail.
9. I use the occasional "Damn you kids".
8. I have looked around the grocery store to make sure no one was looking...then popped my kids in the mouth for talking back.
7. I can ask something so nicely once...then ask again with a growl that would scare a grown man.
6. Reality show, Big Brother, comes before my children when on.
5. One sec...usually means two hours.
4. I am a horrible example of proper time management.
3. I have, on more than one occasion, almost ripped my child's arm off while dragging them down the hall to their bedroom.
2. I have threatened a drop-off to an orphanage.
1. And last of all....my favorite magnet on the fridge says, "Make your own Damn dinner."

Hope you all still love me after reading this post. I am pretty confident that you will or I wouldn't have posted it! So to all us mothers who will never be "Mother of the Year"......CHEERS!

UPDATE: I have done a little "improving" since this post! I do now cook dinners for my family as seen in this post. And I was informed from the Super Nanny that using any force, whether grabbing or squeezing a child's arm, is a form of disrespect so I stopped immediately! Ok...but for real...our home is a pretty happy peaceful place to hang out.